Mixed Feelings!!!

22-04-2007(Tuesday)
Kaise koi kaise kahe dosti kya hai ????……kya hai ????
Zindagi ki dhoop mein ye dosti chaav hai!!!!!
This was the punch line which kept going on in my mind. I was listening to the songs of Shaurya today, I like this because of the first two lines of this song.
I was sitting in the library today when I got in mind that I have just 10 days left to spend with my friends in college. I was not sitting in my usual place(the closed reference) in the library so was finding a lot of difficulty in concentrating in some other place as the tables were almost filled and each one there was up to something or the other. It was 8pm and I had just entered library after having my dinner. I was feeling very tired and sleepy as I had no time to rest after the exam. The problem is, if I am too sleepy I can’t control myself from dropping down any moment and anywhere. The a.c was also working properly so it was all the more good for me. I was reading Biochemistry book by Stryer. I didn’t know when I dosed off. I got up by the creaking noise made by the chair. It sounded very close to me so I just opened my eyes wide to see what it was. Just 2 chairs next me , 2 ppl say. It was a Tamilian guy (hosteller) and a Chinese girl. She looked very studious and was short and cute. A bit plump though. The surprising thing was they were not strangers but it seemed as though they were good friends. This was a bit surprising, not only for me but also for all the others who were witnessing this along with me. They both didn’t speak but conversed using a pen and paper. The girl looked so bubbly with her red frame glasses and she was very cheerful while talking to him. It seemed to me that they had just become friends and she was trying to learn how to converse in English from him. They were the center of attraction for almost 10 minutes. Everyone noticed the girl’s behavior and the way she was talking to him. None commented but all had a smile on their face. I also couldn’t help smiling. Seeing me smile, the girl sitting right in front of me also smiled and I smiled back. It was a good scene. I turned sideways and again tried to look just to see what she was doing and then went back to my book. I wasn’t sleepy at all now. I kept reading and smiling to myself. Then those two went to the close reference for some work. A small change in the atmosphere has got so much of impact on the mood of the people. I was a bit upset earlier and also sleepy.. my mood changed and again I got the same song that I had when I entered the library.
Kaise koi kaise kahe dosti kya hai ???? …….. kya hai ?????
Zindagi ki dhoop mein ye dosti chaav hai!!!

Colour Blinded!!

It was dusk and there was a , sudden shimmer in the sky.

I looked up to see the, Blend of Colours.

The sky looked orange,purple,dark blue,golden yellow,crimson or was it my colour blindness that I couldn't distinguish between the different colours I could see.

It looked perfect...

I was eating something. I looked up, stopped chewing and saw with my mouth open half way through...

I removed my glasses and rubbed my eyes....

What I saw was something I had never witnessed before . Everything looked so picture perfect.

I was regretting that I didn't have a good camera to capture it at that moment. I wish I had a magic wand.

The sky looked beautiful!!!

I could see my COLOURFUL WORLD there.

I was happy that I could enjoy nature's bounty in the best way in a place like Katpadi.

Amidst the pollution that prevails everywhere, I could observe

something, which was the best I had seen with my naked eyes.

I couldn't do much then, just showed it to Ani .

Both of us kept looking at it for sometime .

The next moment... It was gone!

There lay only a mixture of dark red and blue .

I just wished many who noticed it would have enjoyed it and may be someone might have captured it too.

On Blogger since Dec2007

I have been a blogger since December 2007...
It was this that was displayed in my blogger profile. 3 months.... (according to proper statistical data) and i have got only 20 posts...
"Isn't it bad?", I asked myself.
"Actually.. yes," my conscience replied.

I was too slow. 3 months gone and only 20 posts... pretty bad count .

For a person like me who loves writing and expressing , this count isn't good. I tried to think a lot and put certain posts which will be useful for all but later i decided that it is not only the for those who view my profile, there must be something which i write when i really need to blabber. These days i am in a mood to write anything i feel like. I hardly am able to think logically and the result is visible here.

It's all guided by my mood. I usually don't let my mood sway me from doing what i need to do but i guess i am really out of all that.... If there are close observers of my blog, they'll understand the transition in the way i write. This is all a part of the so called" Albeli" phase...

I really can't understand at times when i am like the way i am now....
Wellllll no regrets.. i am enjoying this phase also. It has come after ...
After.... Errrr I just realized that i've never been like this !!!
so.. something new in my life.
Neither am i too happy neither am i too sad.
I AM JUST CALM.
Accepting, pondering, thinking and not only thinking and keeping in mind ... writing!!!
In bits and pieces of paper which i get, on my plam, any sheet, my diary, blog, in others' diaries....

Basically.... I am just writing and writing and expressing...

Kya pata , Kal Ho Na Ho...

Faith!

How much does having faith in anything matter? Faith is the pillar of all relationships and it does affect us a lot when the pillars of faith are weakened. I have faith in almost everything i do but my faith is deterred when my heart is broken. I have a lot of faith in the Almighty and i believe that whatever happens, is for good only but at times i am forced to be pessimistic. This is the time when i become a bit low and i have got Angels in Disguise around me who give me the strength to keep up my faith. I get emotionally attached to people soon and when my heart is broken then the faith that i hold in the relationship comes in handy. I get my confidence back and i learn each time, that i mustn't expect so much from anyone. This is one big lesson i learn everytime but in a harsh way. I am lucky to have some in my life with whom i share every damn thing that goes on in mind and i am thankful to God that i have got such wonderful people around. Just cause i have faith in myself and my close ones. I keep going on in my journey because of that. Dejection and disappointments are quite temporary in my life as i have some source of inspiration or the other.

My mom is my best inspiration. She always tells me , " Whatever happens happens for good. Just keep your calm and have faith in whatever you do." I have learnt this in the best way i can. There have been so many events in my life that have made me believe in her saying all the more. I think, just beacuse of the faith that my parents have on me , I AM WHAT I AM today!!

Chemistry In life!!

It sounds too much related to human physiology, right??
No… it isn’t. It has nothing to do with Bio chemistry. This post has just got something to do with the concepts of Chemistry applied in our day to day life. The moment I think of Chemistry what strikes in my mind first is Chemicals and Chemical Bonding.
Now how are these related to our lives??

Talking about Chemicals, there is so much of “Chemical locha” in our minds, everyday. Here I don’t mean the literal chemical locha. I mean confusion, a war within, thoughts clashing in the mind and so much of thinking which goes on in the conscious as well as the subconscious mind.
Talking about chemical bonding I would say that just the way all elements are having some bond with each other, call it the strongest bond like the Covalent Bond or the weakest one like the Vander Waal’s Force or the hydrogen bond. The bond strength matters in case of relationships also. The stronger the bond strength the longer the relationship lasts but there is much more to it. At times in order to gain stability the atom or molecule or the element has to react with other elements in order to become something better. In such cases the bond has to be weakened. Relationships are also like that. Even after the action of emotions and clash of ideas and thoughts if a relationship holds strong then the bonding is really good. There are some bonds which break and they result in something better. So we needn’t worry about relationships also. There might be tension but this tension will just result in some distortion. It will not have a permanent effect. There might be some time for which the atom might be distorted, later it’ll regain its own shape when it reacts with other atoms or molecules. In the same way, time acts as the best healer and even helps in resolving clashes and also tension. It brings things back to normal and the bond is strengthened more. That’s what happens when one has faith. Bonds get stronger.

Now let me talk about stability. All want stability in life just the way an atom also wants stability. When atom gets excited and then goes to a higher energy level, it can’t stay there for long. It has to come back to its ground state to become stable. In the same way how much ever one attains success, one has to come down a bit after sometime to attain stability. This is how chemistry is applied in life.

These are some basic concepts that we all know and need to just understand. My Chemistry sir (Mr. A.K. Tripathi) always explained these concepts and there are many more. If u find some concepts in chemistry which can be applied in life then do suggest!!

Inspiration/Influence

We all have someone or the other from whom we draw our inspiration. We don't realize that but often we do get inspired seeing things around us. This theory of inspiration has worked a lot. Based on this only, the preaching’s of Swami Vivekananda are so popular and even there have been stories about the spider climbing up to reach its web. I am also one, who draws inspiration from various sources. Ya!! It depends for what I am drawing my inspiration and how much i am learning. Many think that I don't observe much and neither do i learn. Well... that's not the case with me. I do learn and i put it into practice also and my level of observation varies.

For example, The Hindu newspaper has got a supplement on called " The Sunday Magazine", each time i read it i get inspired. There is space for upcoming writers to express themselves and also for the established ones. There is space for book reviews, articles and discussions on some topics which are of public concern. Every week I get a new inspiration to write and i do write after that. It is a mixture all the thoughts that i get, which is put down in paper. In the same way, after every novel, every story i read, i get an inspiration. Based on that I can say I am about to finish writing a book too. Robin Cook's booked and his style and the topics which he deals with, the Medical breakthroughs, inspire me to read more about my subject. This was just a literary inspiration which I am talking about.

When I listen to songs I am inspired to understand them more and get to know about the emotions. It soothes my mind, it touches my soul and i am made to wonder each time on some of the beautiful lyrics that are written.

To talk about, an inspiration to talk, i get it from all the people around me who keep talking and are energetic.

When I feel that I am not the only one who has got so much of tension in the world but when I see the smiling faces of the workers and the people below the poverty line i feel a smile can lessen all the worries we have. I am inspired by every little thing i see and there are some who come to know about the source of my inspiration. Of course, this some includes people who understand me.

Okay!! Now let me tell you all about my latest inspiration. As i have mentioned in my previous post about my trip to Tirupati, there was something which gave me the strength to climb up.
It's not only about me but also about each person who was there with me. We were climbing a very steep stretch of stairs. There were almost 100 steps we had to climb, at one go .There wasn't much space to rest. We all got exhausted and were panting for breath. We held the rod in the middle and sat on the stairs for 15min.Meanwhile, I saw a 5 yr old child who come running up the steps, leaving his parents behind who were slow but not like us. Seeing that little boy climb so fast and seeing that enthusiasm in his eyes we all stood up. I said to myself," When such a small child can climb with so much of enthu why can't we who are much stronger than that kid."
All we needed was an inspiration and then we never stopped for long during our whole journey. We continued our journey in the name of God and the rest of the path seemed easy for us.

Guess..... after writing this I am inspired to write more. :)

An unforgettable.....(trip/journey/trek/adventure)

I don't know how to start this one!! Generally I am very much confident as to how I must begin any write up of mine but I don't wvwn know what Tilte must i assign to it, so I begin.....
It was 1 am sharp!! A cool breeze whizzed past my face, making me feel relaxed. A drop of sweat which was resting in the corner of my eyes, went inside due to the breeze and I rubbed my eyes.
"Yippe!!!"..... I shouted.
Then came the voices of Ani, Ippu and Mayen ....... echoing,' Govinda , Govinda , Govinda!!'
It was dark and only only few dim Sodium vapour lamps were lit on the sides of the street.
We had reached our destination.....
3850 steps!! "We, DID IT," I screamed and gave Ani a hi-fi.
There was so much of happiness in our faces. All 5 faces gleaming in the light with full vigour and a feeling of triumph was prevailing among us.
We had accomplished our much awaited mission of reaching the top of the Tirumala hills where Lord Balaji resides. I think most of u all would have guessed it by now?

Well... we started on 5th evening to Tirupati by bus. Reached a place called Alipiri and started off on our journey to the top at 8pm. We were a group of 5. Ani, Ippu, Arif, Mayen and I.
We had decided that we'll reach the top of the Tirumala hill on foot, crossing 9 kms (3850 steps+ 2kms of walk).
We put our first step remembering the Almighty and praying that we get the strength to cross this whole path. It looked very tiresome. We started moving slowly , with steady steps and then... came the straight path , steep path, the continuous stretch of stairs. The path was well lit with tubelights as it was already dark and these steps were cut amidst the jungle. On both sides dense vegetation was seen. In the dark we could only see the bark of some trees and the huge rocks and see the leaves swinging with the wind.
The rustling of the leaves , the shrriking of the animals, the hymns and chats from the loudspeaker, the normal talk and conversation of the people moving up along with us also of those coming down(either singing or chanting hymns). All seemed so different to me. We were moving up slowly and also panting.
100.. We reached the 101th step and rested for a while.
We were half wet and were gasoing for breath. Our calf muscles already started pulling and we had to cross 99% of our journey more.
We began again... I was leading this time. I was panting a lot and the same condition was with the others also. I kept watching the other people also who were walking along with us. They also took time to rest but at different places and there was onw way we could find as to how fast or slow we were.
We kept climbing, halting, wiping the sweat off the forehead, washed our face , prayed to God that we get energy and strength to walk.



We were getting exhausted and we had to replenish ourselves someway or the other.

We consumed almost 15 to 16 ltrs of water and along with that we 3 girls didn't miss any chance to gobble any little tit bit that was coming our way. I mean , whatever petty shops were there on the way, all seemed to attract us. Raw mangoes with salt n chilly powder, bhel-puri, jhaal-mudi,7up, lemon soda-pop, butter milk, bajji(as we call it here), watermelon, chocolates, Haldiram's Moong dal..etc..... This went on till we reached the top. I think the watermelon I had here was the sweetest among the ones I have had so far. Arif and Mayen were alreday irritated with us as were wasting a lot of time eating and we had alomost 1/4th of the journey. We ate fast and moved on. Whenever we had to halt we looked around and we could see only the whole of Tirupati lit up with yellow lights.

Some places were really dark and we were scared as on both sides there was open jungle and we had heard that there were many wild animals there. Three years back there were cases of a Cheetah taking away some travellers . They usually took advantage by hiding in places which were dark but now there was nothing much to be scared about. We had enough protection and when boys were there we needn't worry. We held hand together and kept walking and we moved on.....

We had crossed half of the whole length and it was 12:30am already. What'll we do??? We had to reach soon and also get fresh for our darshan at 4am. These thoughts were temporary though. We were happily enjoying our journey. We were laughing, chatting, playing the fool around, singing and enjyoing every moment we were there. I was leading everyone for a while and singing different songs. Right from Hanumaan Chalisa to film songs like... " Ek tu hi bharosa.."(Pukar).

I made Ani also sing along with me. We were alomost there when we tried asking somebody as to how much more we needed to cover. Someone said," Another 2 hours my child".

Phew!!! We had lots more to go.



We saw antelopes, deer and they were looking at us with hungry eyes. I went near the grill, got some cucumber and carrots and fed them. They were so hungry that as soon as they saw food 4-5 of them came running and were almost fighting to eat. I got a chance to feed a deer and that we just had a grill as a barrier .



Now .... came the most intersting part of our journey. We were on the winding roads, those curves as sharp hair pin loops which we generally see from the bus. It was fun to walk holding hands, looking at the sky and running in the middle of the road at this hour of the night.

I suddenly felt as if there were (numerous stars in the sky which i could count) I felt i was very close to them. Guess the feeling that had sunk in had made me feel like that.

This went on for long and we kept walking. We were alomost in the last part and were counting the steps all the more now and were really slow. It was almost 1 am....

Finally.................. We made it!!! It read... 3850.

Fights- Why do they happen?

Talking about trivial fights one can find many reasons... It can be among any group, be it friends, elders, colleagues or relatives. Off late my mind was working in different angle's . I was made to think on various topics of concern. One is this one. Rest will follow suit. I really dunno what I am writing , why I am writing...???? I am just writing for " my sake". All these days i always was a bit skeptical in expressing some of my thoughts here, just considering that they were a bit too personal. Even now, my diary has an upper hand but there's some force which is guiding me to write here. May be what I am talking about is a topic of concern in everyone's life.
Fights!!!They are a prominent part of everyone' s life . To consider the reasons for fights I can say that there are basically two main ones responsible for them: Girl and Money. Whatever happens , is all because of them. It's not that I came to know about this fact now that I am writing, but it's all based on my observation.
Be it a political grudge or in a friend circle or a family fight , these two factors play an important role. I was typing this when i asked my friend Harshit as to what could be reasons for fights to happen. He gave me four reasons( Girl, Money, Food and Earth). In the same way i kept asking many around me and got the same answer. Hope those who are reading this also have some answers to the question i have put up. your views are welcome.

Confusion!!

Confusion has got some role in our life . Some people get confused easily cause either they are bound to get confused or they stay in confusion always. I have seen people who are always confused and make others too... Talking about myself, I can say, that I do get confused ... a lot at times but some people in my world have the ability to confuse me very easily!! Must thank them beacuse when i get confused i do crazy things. I talk irrelevant things, my actions go haywire. My friends and my close ones get tired and they say," Oh !! God !! What's wrong with this girl? Has she gone nuts???" Even those who take my VIVA-VOCE try to confuse me and when I get confused i'll give a new answer but it'll be fun. It's fun to shock people at times!! Just like Center Shock!! Sweet initially and then we get a shock in out tongue(a tingling sour taste).
My friends generally leave me in my confused state as they know i'll be back to normal soon. Too much of work, tension and excitement also leads to confusion but i know the way out. I need to give my mind rest then. I stop thinking ;either logically ot illogically and i come out of it.

hmmm.......... after reading this are u all in a confusion about me??? Must be, as this post is written in a state of confusion!!
but...
I LOVE MY CONFUSION!!!

Birthday Blast (21-3-2008)

This year my birthday was really special for me. I was in Ooty. We were a group of 9.
Arif, Mayen, Jayen, Ram, Karan, Ippu, Ani, Sandy and I. I surely knew my birthday and our trip will be fun but never had expected so much out of it. Apart from the normal celebrations we had, the weather of Ooty. It was raining there with chilling cold nights. The whole day we were roaming around in different places and every now and then my friends kept singing the birthday song. Wherever we went they made it so obvious that it was my birthday and always wanted to do something different for me.

MY BIRTHDAY had to be special this year. One reason is so obvious, my trip, and the
other is CCD. I was in CCD on my birthday. Not once but twice. (Nothing unusal in celebrating one's b'day in CCD but mine was different).There are namely, 2 CCD’s in Ooty. I visited the first one, near our hotel during the day and the second one after my treat. We were all very confused as to where we were going for my birthday treat. After thinking over it for long, we all decided to go to a Chinese Restaurant. It wasn’t very far from our hotel. The treat turned out to be a bit disastrous as the food was a perfect Chinese preparation. It was bland and we Indians want a hint of spice in Chinese food also, so all didn’t like it. We were walking back after the treat when we spotted another CCD. It was much bigger and spacious than the previous one. My face lit up seeing that and I went hopping, skipping and jumping within…..all seemed quite relaxed. Now that we entered CCD there was confusion as to where we will sit so that all are comfortable… We tried to sit in all the possible couches. The specialty of some of them was that they had a fire place in the middle but to our disappointment they wouldn’t light that now. We didn’t loose hope. We tried making ourselves comfortable but there was something that was making all of us uneasy. There was one thing to our advantage that at this hour of the night. No body was there except us. There was another small group who came later but was in one corner. In the event of making ourselves comfortable we forgot to even enjoy the music that they were playing. The sound system was pretty good and then came the number which set the mood. It was the …. “Gasolina….”song … Listening to this, Ram started dancing and then why would I stop… It was my solo number… I kept dancing on this track and all my friends were clapping and enjoying themselves too…
This went on…… and all were in action. We made our own corner now arranging the couches and there was room for all to sit comfortably.
But… but…. but .this CCD was not that good as expected as we didn’t get anything that we wanted. It was too late and they didn’t have anything left. We were dying to eat Sizzling Brownie and it was not there. Sad!! We managed with other things such as coffee, milk shake, ice tea, Chocolate sundae but the purpose of being in CCD was not served. We were about to finish when Arif went and asked them to play the song… “Every night…” (Titanic). It was just to irritate Ram and Karan who didn’t like this song but they got pretty serious and walked out of the café. We all were about to leave when Arif suddenly started dancing on this …. Then we all joined as if CCD was all ours. We were enjoying as if the CCD was all ours. No body to stop us. We continued for a while and moved out. I didn’t want to go… I wanted to continue dancing but the fun has to come to a halt as we have to give way for other things to happen. We all were walking back in a jolly mood. My dream of dancing in CCD came true, that too on my birthday. At the end of the day when I just recalled the events of the day I felt that my friends made my day great. The BEST BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION I’ve ever had.

I AM BACK

So many days... my blog was stagnant!!! I have so much to put in here that i really don't know from where i must start. Two months of fun and frolic , adventure, exploration, journey and emotional moments to treasure. These months when I was away from my blog world ,I was collecting some wonderful moments and filling them in my kitty.

This is all to the regular readers of my blog , who were a bit dissappointed seeing my blog standing still at one place for alomost a month. U really have something to look forward to...
Happy Reading!!!