Seasons of Love ( Part 1)

7:00 AM

The yellow light on the cell phone flickered.

1 message received

Aditya reads the message: Let’s just get over with everything!!

Aditya rubbed his eyes and opened them wide. He reads the message again. He wipes the mobile screen and checked the sender’s name again.

Yes, it was certainly Shruti who had messaged.

He checks the time when the message had been sent. It read: 3:00AM, which meant just 4 hours back.

He scratched his head and immediately hit the call button on the last dialed number. Before the call could be connected his fingers were forced to cut the call.

He became restless.

The thought process that goes on in his mind:

“What’s wrong with her? Was she drunk when she had messaged this? What did I do that made her say this? I don’t even remember the conversation we had last night. What to do?? She must be sleeping now. I can’t even disturb her as she slept so late. What on earth could have happened that made her write this? Have I not been caring enough??”

Aditya broke his head for a while pondering over on text message and then got irritated by this thought processing. He walked out of his room and stood in the balcony.

Guys never think so much on these little matters but when they do think, it just makes them so resentful and angry that they forget all the good things that have happened. They start feeling insecure, hurt and helpless. They can’t bear to hear the word of rejection from their partner once they’ve given their love.

Aditya started feeling the same and in the event of hiding his feelings of loosing his love, he gets angry with her thinking how could she have said something like that to him when everything was going well.

He couldn’t wait anymore and gave her a call. He didn’t know how to begin the conversation so chose not to speak first. He didn’t even greet her.

Shruti spoke in a loving yet sleepy voice: “Good morning love.”

Aditya took a gulp down his throat.

She continued saying, “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, I did,” he replied.

He couldn’t speak a word more than what was asked for. He was not able to get the strange behaviour.

He thought: (“How can she act so normal after messaging all that?”)

After a long pause, Aditya decided to break the silence.

He asked, “What was the message you sent last night? What did I do?”

Shruti (pretending that nothing had happened) said, “Nothing dear. I was not feeling good about things.”

Aditya replied, “What has happened? Will you say something clearly?”

Shruti (gaining her confidence and all set to strike back) says, “Yes, you are the reason for everything. Do you even realize how bad I feel at times when you say something in your bad mood? It’s been a week we’ve spoken to each other properly. I have my own problems and sometimes I get helpless when I am not able to talk to you. Even if you talk to me you don’t feel like asking anything and you have hardly anything to say these days. What am I supposed to interpret when I hear all this and do you even realize what you said last night??”

Aditya, (who had been listening to her patiently) spoke in an angry tone, “What?”

Shruti (very confidently) replies, “You told me that I am the reason for pissing you off always. I am the one who spoils your mood. If that is so, then why do you have to talk me? So, I thought its better you stay free and happy.”

Aditya was completely furious by then and he replied in an angry tone, “What was wrong in what I told you. I was absolutely right I think. You are indeed the person who can spoil my mood and my day too. I have my own tensions and worries too. Will you just let me be myself? All I want is a little mental peace. Can’t I demand that too?”

Shruti had been very strong with her reasons all this while broke down into pieces from within when she heard those lines. She hadn’t expected him to say that. She wanted to know the reason for his behaviour and also wanted him to justify himself if there was any reason. (Considering the actual picture, there was no specific reason at all.)When she was blamed again, she lost all the power to fight back. Her condition was like that of a kitten which was very hungry yet had to stay in one corner seeking for shelter on a cold rainy night.

She took a deep breath and gulped down the tears down her throat and said, “Ya, you are right. I am sorry for everything. That’s the reason I messaged you like that. From now I won’t be the one who spoils your day.”

She didn’t wait for him to speak but cut the call. After keeping the call down, Shruti threw her phone furiously on the bed, scratched her head and got up from her bed. She picked up her phone again and went to the ‘Sent items’ folder just to realize what she had said last night.

Thoughts in her mind: Do I really want to get over with this relationship? Do I have to loose his confidence at this ripe stage of our relationship?

She got angry with her own self and switched off her phone, closed her eyes and buried her face into the pillow.

Hot tears streamed down into the pillow and she wailed from within thinking about the events that had happened and also blaming herself equally. She had lost self confidence by then and she felt as if she was sitting in a ditch and found no means to come up.

Aditya also realized what he had just said and he felt helpless as only the last words she spoke lingered in his mind.

All those millions of ‘Love you’ she used to say was all washed off and was in the drain. He felt helpless and like a loser thinking that she had lost her confidence on him. He was angry not with Shruti but with the situation that he couldn’t do anything to make her feel good and happy again. He had lost miserably in this test. The fear of losing her made him even more furious and that anger came out on her.

He tried dialing her number after one hour and her cell was still switched off. He desperately wanted to tell her that he loved her so much but only because he couldn’t see her unhappy because of him, he was showing his anger on her. He could have somehow made her feel good. He cursed everything that came his way, slammed the door and went into his room.

This is such a typical situation faced by people in relationships but what mistakes people do here is to not understand each one’s need.

There’s wasn’t much that was happening between them. They were just going through what is called- Summer in love.

Aditya felt that just few days back he had expressed his love to her by telling her a lot of things and Shruti had felt so happy about it. The few days according to Aditya’s calculations were some 15 days back.

For women, reassurance of love is required. If a guy says ‘Love you’ to a girl she would expect the guy to tell her ‘love you’ as many times as he could so 15 days was like a forgotten old story which was just the opposite with guys.

Women need reassurance not because they are insecure or feel their guy doesn’t love them. They want guys to express their love always. They want that love tank to be full always. Whereas, for men expressing their love once meant a lot and they expect the opposite sex to remember that always.

Women are like waves. They go so high and then low. Sometimes they are in high spirits and sometimes they are in low. This happens very often. It can happen even within 5 minutes that’s when men say they can’t understand women.

They undergo a stage at this stage when they can be stabilized only by love and understanding. They need open ears and full attention from their partners. They don’t want solutions to their woes but they just want them to be heard. In Venus they had learnt to practice empathy. They solved others problems and leant to listen to each other but in Mars it was just the opposite. They would only come forward to help when asked for. They didn’t how to empathize until someone asked for it.

Women go deep down in their well feeling low about themselves for no reason at all. They feel helpless and low without any string reason. That’s when they need to be heard and men feel it’s not right. Men interpret that they lack self-confidence and try to advice them, which is the biggest mistake.

Shruti was feeling bad about certain things and because of Aditya’s behaviour she felt bad even more. When he blamed her again she felt even worse and lost her confidence even more.

Women can do anything when they feel loved and cared for. That’s their biggest strength and weakness. A little bit of honest appreciation from the opposite sex will make them feel much different.

Men on the other hand are like rubber bands. They’ll stretch and stretch just to move away and get aloof at times but then they’ll be forced to come back because they don’t want to test their tensile strength till the maximum limit. They always want to come back with extra force which if seen in the form of love. This is when they expect their partner to understand them.

Aditya would have felt the same. He would have wanted to pull away a bit from her not because of any fault of hers but it was the time when he needed to visit his den to take time for himself. He would have eventually come back to her with lot of love but before that Shruti reacted to his behaviour which hurt him.

Shruti wouldn’t have felt bad if he hadn’t blamed her. She couldn’t dare to be responsible for his unhappiness as she always wanted to the reason for his happiness. When she realized that she had made him upset she felt even more upset and weak.

Shruti would have expected Aditya to say something after reading the message that could make her feel better, “I need you. I love you. Please don’t go away. I will not be happy without you.”

These he would have felt within but what Shruti wanted was to listen to them verbally. In a moment of her sadness she would have lost all the strength to even think what he felt.

It was against Aditya’s manliness to talk about these feelings.

The amount of confidence she had initially arguing with him had vanished eventually as she saw lack of empathy. Shruti didn’t lack confidence but when she remembered the words he had spoken she felt shattered.

She switched on her phone.

There was a message from Aditya.

It read: Why don’t you have confidence in your own self? What can’t you be happy with this happening? Why are you so pessimistic about everything?

This time she felt worse again. The one who could have understood her in her worst situations happened to be the one who was advising her. She wanted to be understanding and act in a mature way but after all this the situation became worse…..

She was about to break down completely when he phone rang.

Her heart raced when she heart the ring tone.

It was Aditya.

To be continued………………….

(Rest of my post will be containing the other seasons. So keep reading..)