Monday, July 7, 2008

Arranged marriage- Yes Please!

Hold on… I am not talking about my marriage and neither am I here to have a debate on the very old topic, Love marriage vs. Arranged marriage.

This was the title of a program that was shown in TIMES NOW news channel yesterday at 9 PM. I was just turning channels when I saw this one. The title attracted me because; of late I was doing the job of a so called assistant match maker. [Just kidding]

I was trying to help out my uncle and aunt to find a suitable bride for my cousin brother as he wanted his parents to do the job. Surprising, isn’t it? When one hears a guy of THIS generation talk like this. This is nothing; I was surprised all the more when I saw this showcase in TIMES NOW. I must say, I found it quite interesting.

They had actually brought into reality some of the couples who had had an arranged marriage as they wanted it. This is what all parents want but today the scenario has changed completely. The parents themselves stress on their children to look for a bride/groom for themselves as they want their children to be happy. This has helped to bridge the gap. Now the point that was highlighted here was that there were some who wanted their parents to do the job just as my brother. For them, love marriage was not something to think about.

Reasons were different for different people but most of them were under the spell of one strong cliché that I will quote here - NO TIME FOR LOVE.

It’s not a man’s world alone anymore. All work and in their busy schedules and high tech jobs in the MNC’S , Software companies and other professional jobs it is really difficult for them to find time to actually find their kind of love. Some had the open mind and an open heart but could never find someone suitable with whom their frequency matched. Here comes a topic that I would relate with the latest movie -
Kismet Konnection, which yet to hit the big screens. So, what one needs to have for a love marriage apart from the life partner is a KISMET (Kimsat) to get one suitable and also a KONNECTION (Connection) has to be established between the two for the relationship to work out. I think the couples of today are not wrong if they say – “ARRANGED MARRIAGE- Yes Please!”


What do they do? They ultimately depend on an arranged marriage but even an arranged marriage is not the one like it used to be when our parents got married. The whole concept has changed keeping in mind the family values. There were some young couples who had a talk with the channel on this. They had also been a victim of the problems that I have stated earlier, so they tried this MATRIMONIAL thing. Internet of course has helped them a lot along with the match makers. They found them some of the best source by which they could interact and then the same story continues.

To quote some of the views of a newly married couple who felt Arranged marriage still had its own value in this present day.


The girl says speaks.
“For me arranged marriage was like a fairy tale. My parents told me to meet a guy out of the blue but I was not ready for it. I said NO to it but then they gave me an option to let them know if I was seeing anyone. I realized then that I had no other go as I hadn’t thought about it. Just keeping in mind that I didn’t want to sound too backward by going with arranged marriage I argued with my parents on it. Later when I thought over it I decided that I could go my way in this option too. It wasn’t that bad as people thought. I met some guys and among them I found one whose thoughts did match with mine and then I felt he was the perfect one for me. We dated each other for six months and then got married. So you see it was love cum arranged.”

She says this and is in all smiles.


When they spoke to the guy who is her husband now, he said – “I had never been so open to arranged marriage. In fact I used to advise people not to go for it. My parents gave me this option and I had to show my tantrums but I had no other go but to meet her. The first thing that happened was that my friends started shouting at me that I was not doing the right thing. Still, I had a positive attitude. I met her and spoke to her and then we got married. Now, after marriage I have something exciting everyday as I get to know my wife more.”

This was one such couple who spoke but they had many on the show. It was surprising for me as I had never expected such a thing and it was a nice exposure for the people as well as booster for the morale of all those eligible bachelors and maids who were yet to find their life partners.


So, I round of by saying that if one is not able to establish a KISMET KONNECTION then try out the other way round as even that needs a KISMAT and a CONNECTION. Still, if you don’t have any nothing to worry, watch the movie – KISMET KONNECTION (18th July) and check out how Shahid and Vidya try to establish this.


13 comments:

ankit said...

now-a-days our society is also adapting to love marriages and arrange are slowly becoming past. but that doesn't mean that arrange r unfit. in some cases, love marriages mean only Konnection of 2 hearts on cost of their families, similarly arrange marriges can join two families but not two hearts... so, what to do..?? to go with ur heart or ur parents??????????
now it can be a great topic of debate..
but i would like to prefer love cum arrange marrige...

Sam said...

I think the subject of arranged marriage is coming up more and more as
Westerners embrace Eastern thought. LATimes wrote a story on the subject and there’s even a docu-series/TV show in the works on the concept:

http://www.trendhunter.com/trends/hbo-now-casting-volunteers-for-upcoming-reality-tv-show-arranged-marriage

Website for the TV show: http://www.arrangedmarriagetv.com

Power of Words said...

Yes Ankit. u r right but kya karein?? Itna debateale topic hai ye!!

Power of Words said...

Thanks Sam for giving the info.

rakhshanda said...

so nice...very effective...thanks

Elessar said...

Well Archu, to tell you the truth, you have written upp on a topic that has a very important place in my life.... And, I wouldsay in many of ur readers lives too.... But one thing must be remembered at this point, It is not a question of Love marriage or Arranged marriage.... Its a question of Love in Marriage.... A marriage can work out only if love exists b/n the couple, if not, whoomph...!!!! Its dust....

ankit, you are perfectly rght when you raise the question, parents or heart.... But I f you ask me, I'd say heart... (Not at the point of insulting the parents) If we look at society today, it is more of a nuclear couple and kids kind of families that exist.... Now, It is not like in the days of yore when a marriage meant two families start living together... Now-a-days, it is of primary importance that the couple get along well together, 'coz they're the ones who're gonna live out their life together, as one unit.... This is the most important thing to consider whether the marriage is Arranged or Love...

What say, Archu..???

अनुराग said...

वक़्त भी बदल रहा है ओर समाज भी.... ओर नई पीड़ी भी....उम्मीद है सोच ओर बदलेगी...

Power of Words said...

Yes Prajwal ur right!!
We better start thinking over it.

Power of Words said...

haan sahi kaha Dr. Anurag

PD said...

जब शादी के लायक नहीं था तब मैं पापा-मम्मी को हमेशा परेशान करता था कि आप लोग मेरे बारे में नहीं सोचते हैं.. अगर सोचते होते तो मेरी शादी करवा देते..
अब लायक हो गया हूं तो मैं पापा-मम्मी मुझसे कहते रहते हैं कि बेटा शादी कर लो.. :)

खैर मुझे ये पता है कि कल को मैं किसी के बारे में भी कहूं कि मुझे इससे शादी करनी है तो पापा-मम्मी कभी रोकेंगे नहीं.. मगर मेरे हिसाब से अभी शादी करने का समय नहीं आया है..

अब सवाल पैदा होता है कि अरैंज्ड या लव.. ये समय पर छोड़ता हूं.. :)

Power of Words said...

haan Bhaiyya. sab ka yahi khayal hai shayad

PD said...

are Archu.. did you read my new posting?? its a poem by one of my friends.. I hope u'll like this.. :)

pallavi trivedi said...

whether its love or arranged...mental compatibility is most important.