Pessimism

A terrible state of mind, 
A deep sense of anxiety and insecurity,
In that deep-deep darkness that I dwell ,
That makes my heart full of sorrow swell;
Unfaithfulness at it's best, lest I regret, 
I know to talk, to share to ask to cry, to be emotional,
I stay put at one place doing nothing but thinking,
I go in that deep well and think my life has become a hell;
Dejection, rejection, jealousy everything comes in at the same time.
'I' am - Pessimism !

Forgotten identity

“Sana..... Sana....... Sana.....," Viren shouted and she still didn't respond. Angrily, he slammed open the bedroom door and walked out with a wet towel wrapped around his waist.

She was busy washing utensils in the kitchen, tap water was running, baby Neil was crying, sitting on the pram and the television was blaring out loud as Viren's  dad wanted the news to be heard loud and clear.

The early morning clutter was making him feel irritated inside but the moment he saw his wife innocently doing her work, his anxiety calmed down. Neil looked at him and gave a chuckle. Sana turned and looked at him quizzically. " You want something Viren?" she asked in a gentle tone. Hearing this, he almost forgot why he had come out irritated from his room. 

"Errr... nothing really....,"he said sheepishly and walked back. 

For the first time he felt he was acting selfish by asking her to help him with every small work he could do by himself at home . His mother had done everything for him right from childhood days and he had never stayed in a hostel. 

He thought, "Sana always felt very awkward doing things for me and would often retaliate. What has made her so calm now? She never questions." He kept pondering.

Every time she broached this topic of diving household chores he would be busy with work and the topic eventually would fade away. Had his mother been alive, Sana would have felt more relieved. Taking care of the child and his ageing father was a priority then. Things happened so fast that he didn't have time to express to her that he wanted to help her but  he just didn't know how to start with. He often took care of Neil when Sana was busy, but it was not the way he should be doing exactly. There was a housemaid to help Sana out too, but somehow situations were not going the right way. Mainly because Sana had stopped complaining or even pestering him to help her. 

Sana, an independent and strong woman who was working as an HR Manager in an MNC before she decided to quit and spend a few years to take care of Neil. Viren was not too happy as he knew how independent Sana had always been. When she expressed her wish to be at home and take care of Neil Viren didn't object either. It seemed like an understood decision. It was hard for both, but someone had to take the first step towards a decision. That time, Sana had expected Viren would come in and convince her to continue her job, at least part time, so that they could take care of their child together. 

Viren was missing those sparks from her. Her attitude to fight for the right. She seemed to be going with the flow. Not one day had she complained after Neil was born. Viren kept wondering in his room thinking what could have made her that way. He realized that even during an argument, there were moments when she would cry and hold him asking him to understand the situation. She would show immense love and immense anger at the same time, too confusing for him to take either. Nonetheless, even her 100 % attention was towards him. Things were slowly changing but it was a part of their new role. He was the one who was not giving his maximum in the relationship. He had totally been carried away with work and saving  money for their future because Sana was also not working anymore. They went out occasionally for dinner, but it would be a quiet family outing. It was never about the two of them. Thoughts were also muddled up. He never dared to take a step ahead. 

Angry with himself and the situation he got ready and started leaving for work. Just as he was about to leave, Neil came crawling and tugged at his pant. The look on Neil’s face melted him. As if Neil wanted to tell him, “ Dad, don’t leave today without showing your love to us.”

Viren put his laptop case down, removed his shoes, closed door and sat down with his son. He held Neil close and gave him a small peck on the cheek. Carrying his son, he walked around in the house playing and tickling him . A feeling of innocent joy throughout his mind. He was always of the opinion that a  father required training to handle his own child. But, when he managed to keep his child calm for minutes together, he realized that there were certain things that just came naturally.

Sana, who had gone for a bath, walked out astonished. It was a loving sight to behold. A bond between a father and his child. It was 8 months now that Neil was born. Sana had always wanted him to be independent in handling Neil. She was unable to explain to him either. She felt so excited seeing this that she rushed up to them and gave the two best men in her world, a tight hug. 

Viren was almost in tears when he got her tight and loving hug. That was his partner Sana whom he had married four years back. He had missed that tight hug from months, but had never realized. They held their son tightly between them and kissed his either cheeks on either side. 

" This is such a wonderful feeling Sana. Holding our son together and taking care of him. It's been past 20 minutes now and he's still smiling. I was always so scared to hold him thinking he would cry with my touch," Viren said in a tone full of excitement.

" You were right, dear. It's as easy I could have thought," said Viren with a blush.

Sana was pleased to the core. Her heart bounced and danced. Tears had formed a layer in her eyes ready to flow out, just when Viren held her and Neil close and gently kissed the corner of her eyes. 

" We will do things together. I'll try to help you with household chores and also taking care of Neil," Viren said in an assuring tone. 

" I can conquer the world when I have your support," Sana said looking at Viren passionately.

Let us all bring back the touch in our lives in case we have forgotten to know that a touch could be magical.   #BringBackTheTouch with http://www.pblskin.com/,  Just as they did here : #BringBackTheTouch video

Living in Paradise

My dream home should be something that I can choose without a restriction in the usage of the money I have. I would prefer to decorate it the way I want. It should have luxury as well as simplicity. I would pick up a 4BHK ( Bedroom, Hall and Kitchen) as seen in http://www.24kliving.com/ website. Purchasing a home at this real estate and getting my interiors done with products from PORCELANOSA  is my dream. I would like to have as much money with which I can design my own comfort living. 

Home is the place where we feel the most secure so I would like to start from my living room. The place where my LED wall mounted television will be placed against a wallpaper made of Ceramic Wall tiles with an off white and maroon mixed combination. I would choose a flower shaped pattern with these colours running in alternate so that there is a balance. When light falls on them it should appear bright and lively. My television would be in the center. I love the ceramic make. It gives a solid feel to the room and also can be cleaned and wiped easily. I can get them made into designs of my own. Flooring for the room should be an Anti slip one with a complementing colour so that it provides grip while walking. Maintaining it will also be easy and when I carpet a small area where my coffee table would be kept, it would give firmness to the furniture kept and yet give a smooth look . The room should look wider than it is. A huge music system in the corner, home theater, reclining cushioned sofas and  huge teak wood open book shelf  kept against the ceramic maroon and off- white background would make the look of my living room complete. One side of the plain off-white ceramic wall would be left just empty to put up beautiful photo frames. 

We enter into the most beautiful part of my house. The kitchen. The kitchen flooring should be again Anti- slip as it does not allow any problems while cooking or get affected with spills. It can also be cleaned easily and continues along with my living room so the flooring make should match. However, my kitchen wall should be like Mosaics where I want to use natural stones of different colours. I should be able to decorate them with alternate natural stone colours so that it has got a lively yet a dull appeal from far. When I enter the kitchen I should feel like cooking and the mosaic is easy to wipe and clean in case of oil splashes. The kitchen furniture should be G680 Roble Camel Vintage / G480 Blanco Mate which has got a mix of white and brown with a small space to keep a four square dining table looks neat and yet my kitchen would look chic. The sinks would be in the center. Storage of utensils would be inside the brown cabinets. For me it was a good balance of colours. Kitchen- Dining table should be made of : Table : Dreams KRION and Chairs Clever Negro / Cincha Negra. It would complement the white kitchen table top and also my flooring. The chairs and simple and beautiful for seating. There would be different colours in my entire kitchen.  Kitchen taps should be in  Monomando Loop make. It is sleek and smooth and the shape is beautiful. The lusture of the taps looks perfect against the dull mosaic background. Kitchen workshop should be one that matches my kitchen furniture set up.  RION would be my choice as it is white and long. The colour will brighten up the area and the length will give lot of space for me to keep my dishes and cook. This makes my kitchen complete. I would love to keep some indoor plants on this kitchen table to add to the colour. 

I wanted the flooring and the walls to be same for all three bedrooms and a little different for my study room. I wanted Natural Wood for all my bedrooms because it gives a very earthy and cosy feeling. The first thing that I sould do after getting off of my bed and step on the wooden flooring, I should feel like I am transported into some sort of a tree house. A soft touch. I wanted the same feeling for all my bedrooms. The wall tiles should be made of  Natural stone

Pizarra Delhi Natural Home Bioprot 40 x 80 x 1,5 cm, Pizarra Delhi Pulido Bioprot 30 x 30 x 1,2 cm which would be the best use as it will give a cool effect and a earthly match with my wooden flooring. A cosy look, easy maintenance and yet a luxurious feel. For me, home should not be like a business suite, but a very comfortable place where I would love to be back after a hard day's work. Wardrobes in my room should be - Terra Nogal Tenue / Lino Cancún Textil  that would match up with my flooring and provide a lot of moving space in the room. I wanted lots of cabinets inside yet they should be hidden under one single door. This would make my room look spacious and look classy at the same time. 

For my study I wanted PAR-KER -Ceramic parquet for the flooring and the wall tiles. It is easy to maintain and also is resistant to any rough usage. It would give a uniform and soothing appeal. The very thought of being in the study, reading and enjoying the books should be fun then. 

For my bathrooms I wanted the flooring to be made of STONE-KER and wall tiles STON-KER Estocolmo Natural 22 x 90 cm / 14,3 x 90 cm , STON-KER® floor tiles Estocolmo Natural 22 x 90 cm / 14,3 x 90 cm. This would add beauty to my bathrooms and also add a lot of mirth. When hot water splashes on the stone floor it would be perfect for a very natural living. It would be like going to some resort and staying. My bathroom should also include accessories from KRION  Bathroom collections Epoque that would fit in perfectly with the flooring and the wall tiles. 

Overall, this would be my choice to make a dream home. 

Swachh Bharat = Swasth Bharat( Clean India = Healthy India)

Our honourable Prime Minister Mr. Narendra Modi has started the "Swachh Bharat" campaign and from then, his noble initiative has become viral. If not all at least one citizen in the locality has started maintaining cleanliness. Probably an encouragement and initiative like this was long overdue. Cleanliness is not just about sweeping the road or clearing garbage. It is also about providing hygienic environment for the people around by building clean toilets for public use. Building them more in number should be the motive so that it is easy to match up with the increasing population. Second step is to clean them regularly and provide adequate water supply. 

“Toilet for Babli" is a great step taken by Domex -//www.domex.in/ towards maintaining cleanliness and hygiene for a healthy India. A healthy India is a rich India. As the healthier the people are the better the resources get utilized and we get more manpower. A healthy child when educated can be one of the best contributors for making India the best among the developed countries. 

The ill effects apply the same for a male and a female child. Sanitation is one of the basic modes of hygiene everyone has to maintain because urine and feces are the major source of attracting bacteria and virus which can spread through contact.  This is one of the main causes of diarrhea, intestinal worm infections, typhoid, cholera and hepatitis. Among these major source of contamination is drinking water. This decomposed matter mixes with the soil and get washed into the rivers and ponds or it can gets mixed with soil. The villagers around use the same contaminated water for domestic purposes. Thatis how everyone carries infection home. Open defecation attracts mosquitoes and flies that breed on them. In return these transfer microorganisms to food and water that is left uncovered. Sometimes these feces are unknowingly consumed by children who are unaware of the sanitation issues. Children live and play around that infected area , not knowing about the health hazards. Parents are also  uneducated and are not able to teach their children about hygiene. Passing urine in public also has extreme health hazards and mainly female children are more vulnerable to contracting  Urinary Tract Infections ( UTI). Young girls hesitate to urinate and defecate in public because they are very shy. They try to hold urine  while searching for a proper place to urinate. Holding urine for a long time causes bladder distention and leads to urinary problems mainly in females. Major cause of a  social and psychological impact on the future women of India. There are also safety issues for our young and innocent Babli who goes to an open area where the chances of sexual abuse are very high. This issue is very common since girls prefer isolated and dark areas to urinate and defecate in the fear of being seen in public. They fall prey to untoward incidents. Many cases of rape have been reported when young girls have gone alone around thick vegetation for urination or defecation especially when it is dark.

If the young generation is affected , the future of our country is at stake. We should join hands for this cause and bring a revolution. 

Educated citizens like us who are aware of the consequences should help such organizations like : Domex , to make their campaign and their noble initiative a success. 

Our contribution is just a Click! away.....

So, readers please participate  by clicking on : Contribute Now (You Click Domex Contributes) in the website http://www.domex.in/.

Domex will contribute Rs.5 on your behalf to eradicate open defecation, thereby helping kids like Babli live a dignified life. 

Remember its you who can bring about the change in the lives of millions of kids, thereby showing your support for the Domex Initiative. 

Health is wealth

We struggle for years together, get educated, slog at our work place in order to earn a living and lead a good life. The modern day lifestyle has become such that we are becoming a slave to technology and the sedentary way of living. It includes round the clock lifestyle working inside air conditioned rooms, increasing stress and mental disturbance. We cannot change the way we are living and eating the way we do today. We can only improve our lifestyle and make changes in our diet and way of living so that we can prevent our future generation from the ill effects of the environmental changes that are happening day by day, If a disease prevails in the elderly generation today at the age of 40 we are prone to get it at the age of 20 if we do not modify our lifestyle. We cannot even think how our kids will be. They will be far more advanced when it comes to education and technology and at the same time they will be surrounded by all the immune system attacking terrorists.

As parents, its our responsibility to make it a disease free environment for our children. We give them the right kind of food in the right amount and allow them not to succumb to all the disadvantages of modernization. The child will create our future and for a child to be health we need to be well aware of all the dietary supplements we are supposed to give them at the right age. There have been cases reported of children suffering with diabetes when they are born or they develop it as they are growing. We, as parents must ensure that a child doesn't have any difficulty to progress further in this competitive world just because of health issues. We educate ourselves so much today so that we are parents who are aware of the ill effects of health issues. Immunity reduces with lifestyle and if parents don't follow a good lifestyle it certainly affects the children.

While working in my lab, I encountered a couple with a 6 month old baby boy who had come to us to get their infant screened for inborn errors of metabolism. They was global developmental delay that was observed and also some other neurological symptoms had slowly started to show. The despair in the eyes of the parents was unbearable as they had been gifted with the wonderful child after lot of complications during the mother's pregnancy. A proper consultation with the right doctor and strictly following the diet control did improve the child a bit, two months from then. They kept coming regularly for constant check ups. One fine day they were so tired of following the diet regime that they reverted to the normal way of supplements, which was not right. The child started suffering again. Whatever money was earned by the parents went in treating the child and also affected the child's education often.

I couldn't bear to see the agony and pain the parents would go through while bringing their child for blood tests and doctor's consultation. That's when it struck me that its better to prevent something which we have in hand and if there's something genetic we cannot predict or prevent we need to religiously follow the  regime suggested by a clinician. Lets all think of being healthy . That's how money that we earn will be utilized for all the right thing and make us wealthy automatically.

This post was written for IndiBlogger for 3X immunity-  https://www.liveveda.com/daburchyawanprash/.

A sumptuous South Indian Meal - Entry under "My Beautiful Food!"

They say" Every picture has a story", so does mine.  I recall about the very first lunch invitation I had given to my friends. They had been longing to taste an authentic South Indian delicacy prepared by me. I always tried to evade their requests saying that I didn't have a proper kitchen set up and also didn't have enough utensils for serving 5-6 guests as I was a spinster. Once I got married and was settled with my husband my cooking skills started refining. I had even enough dishes for serving food, thanks to my relatives who gifted us an entire Borosil dinner set.  I took a chance to invite guests over for lunch. My first lunch invite given to any guest. 

What was on the menu then?? - Purely South Indian. A meal usually served for lunch in a Tam-Brahm family.

I have always been in love with colours and I somehow wanted all the bright colours in my food.

Main Course : Vatral kozambhu, Parupu Usali served with steamed basmati rice.

Add on : Curd, Papad, Garlic pickle.

Dessert : Mango Milk Shake

Vatral Kuzhambu is an authentic South Indian speciality. Vatrals are nothing but sun dried vegetables, which are added to this  spicy, slightly sour lentil gravy. Also spelled as (Vatha Kuzhambu / Vathal Kulambu / Vatra Kuzhambu / Vatha Kulambu / Vatha kolambu / Vatha kolumbu). I decided to make this one with Shallots/small onions( It is called 'chinna vengayam' in tamil). This happens to be my favourite among all vegetables.

When you peel these onions they never make you cry. The taste is just intoxicating when cooked well. Vatral Kuzambhu has a riot of flavours in it. The tangy flavour of the tomato and tamarind juice, red chilly to spice it and the beautiful golden brown small onions that absorb in the dish. 

The reddish brown colour seemed a perfect contrast and the look of the dish was enhanced when I served it in a Borsoil dish . The aroma of the cooked tamarind and the tomato pulp and the sambhar powder wafted in the air. I knew then that the dish looked and smelt exactly how my mom  prepared it at home.

The garnishing with curry leaves and coconut added the soft touch to the dish. This was used as a side dish to be served along with steamed basmati rice.  

I then made another curry dish as an accompaniment. It is a dry side dish that complements well with the tangy Vatral Kozambhu. I made ' Parupu usali' made with drumstick leaves and  lentils( Pigeon Pea/Toor dal/Tavaram parupu in Tamil and Brown chickpea/ Chana dal/Kadalai parupu in Tamil).

The yellow colour imparted by the lentils and the green colour of the Moringa leaves/Drumstick leaves along with the left over skin of half ground red chillies made it look perfect for a combination with rice and vatral kozambhu. The pulses/ lentils were half ground, soft and steam cooked along with the drumstick leaves that are a rich source of Iron. The aroma of this dish was enhanced by asafoetida/hing/perungayam added as a seasoning along with  whole dried red chillies. The dry yet soft texture of this curry doesn't mask the taste of the vatral kozambhu. 

I served this curry in a white borosil wide mouth bowl which could be easy to serve . The spatula that was also available along with this set was perfectly suited to serve this dish.

I kept rice in a bowl and the meal was served to them on a white borosil plate. I used the small bowls for serving curd . I was missing a glass storage jar for serving pickle and also a plate to keep the rice papads/Appalam/crackers. 

These dishes are best to have along with rice during summers as the shallots are known to provide a cooling effects to the body, the lentils and the drumstick leaves combination are rich in protein and essential minerals and micro nutrients. The curd rice at the end of the meal added a cooling effect for any kind of heat that was produced by the spices used in the entire meal.

My lunch table looked complete and I felt little confident about my culinary skills after looking at the outcome. It still had to be approved on its taste. 

The add on's for the meal were curd, garlic pickle and papad. The meal looked and tasted heavenly.  No wonder my friends felt sleepy after this meal. My lunch was enjoyed and appreciated by all. 

 My first attempt at the so called ' Kitchen Chronicles' was successful.

Before my friends left I served them Mango Milk shake as a dessert for this hot summer. The bright yellowish orange colour of the ripened mangoes and the creamy white milk blended so well. The faint yellow milkshake seemed smooth and frothy on the top and looked perfect when I served with cubes of ripe mangoes. 

I only had ceramic coffee mugs for serving this. It would have looked better had I served in the beautiful and elegant Medallion Borsoil glasses. My dinner set didn't have the glasses  in them so I had already made up my mind to buy glasses the next time to serve juice or milk shake. 

I don't think the meal I cooked for my guests could have added such a positive impact had I not used the Borosil glass wares. http://www.myborosil.com/. Thanks to Borosil for manufacturing and creating such beautiful designs and range of glassware. I wish I had the INDIGO - NEUVO 35 PIECE from Melamine Dinner set.

Silent love

I never believed in the concept of a special day when I was dating my would be fiance and the love of my life. We met once a week just to spend quality time with each other. Each weekend was special for us as we discovered something new about each other being in each other's company. Among all these wonderful courtship days we have one such experience which I have marked in my calendar as my " Platinum day of love." 

The simple and caring gesture  made me see another side of his which was very helpful in giving me the confidence to take one step towards marriage. 

I was quite unwell few months before our engagement and it was that time we were asked my our parents to start choosing engagement rings for each other. Since we got time only on weekends, we tried to utilize most of our time usefully. 

Seeing my fever, cold and throat infection going bad, my fiance , Yd took me to a doctor. 

I can recall vividly the experience I had with him throughout this time when I was barely able to speak because of severe throat infection. 

                                                           **********

The doctor said, “You are supposed to be on mute mode for 48 hours.”

“Mute mode, as in?” I asked finding it hard to digest what she just said.

“Maun- vrat,” she said with a gentle smile.

I gave a helpless look while Yd laughed away to glory.

How was I supposed to stay without talking? In one moment my weekend plans got shattered.

After thanking the doctor, we left. I was upset by the treatment she had suggested for me but at the same time my intellect contradicted, “It is the best medication that could have been offered at this point so go ahead and follow it religiously.”

Suddenly there was so much to talk and I wasn’t supposed to speak. I struggled trying to use actions and facial expressions. Thanks to Yd, I got some confidence to strictly adhere to it. He spoke all while and I could do nothing but listen to his instructions and follow the same. As advised, I took a pen and paper and started writing whatever I wanted to convey. If I held the paper close to me while writing he would peer into it with an eagerness to just know what I wanted to convey. This idea was successful in the initial phase.

While walking on the streets I couldn’t keep writing on chits. Eventually I resorted to actions and facial expressions. Playing dumb charades while walking was fun. I was thoroughly enjoying watching a troubled Yd trying hard to decipher my actions. He gave complete attention to my words unlike the other days. He was certainly impressed by my hidden talent to act when he told me, “This punishment is proving useful. I am able to see your hidden talent in mute acting.” That was the only way I could express the immense joy I felt. Half a day went in this way. I was not allowed to talk to anyone.

We had to go shopping for our engagement ring.  I was unable to express my choice and specifications to the sales person in the shops. We roamed around on the street which was best suited for all the jewellery shops. We were quite skeptical in choosing which ring to buy. ( Gold or platinum). 

Yd took the pain to get the exact specifications written down from me in each shop and explained to the shopkeepers on my behalf. Each shop that we went to, the shopkeepers looked weirdly at me when they presented something nice while I in turn looked at Yd to voice my thoughts. It was an opportunity to feel confident that he was aware of my likes and dislikes. A strange yet loving feeling brought us closer.  We hardly had any arguments, disagreements or misunderstandings during the whole day. At times I did feel irritated when he didn't understand my expressions but the irritation seemed to vanish when I saw the innocent look on his face. He was giving a real attempt to understand my thoughts.

There was complete silence and there were abrupt pauses while we were together because I was the one who always started the conversation. For Yd it was always a one minute talk. He found it hard to converse beyond a point when there was nothing new to discuss. Silence did its magic and so did our expressions. We had moments when only our eyes spoke. Being with me on mute mode, he also started feeling that it were better not to talk. He conversed with me in whispers or tried copying my expressions. Before starting maun- vrat I had presumed that I would not feel comfortable but it turned out to be beneficial in many ways. I could express myself by messaging, writing and showing actions. 

We went hopping from one shop to the other and Yd doing all the work of explaining about type of ring we wanted. After searching in 5 shops we squared down to buying platinum ring. Finally, jotting down all the specification I had given through actions and what he wanted we chose our engagement ring in Orra showroom. Exquisite piece if platinum rings . It was a platinum pair and we got our names engraved inside each other's ring. 

Someone has rightly said, “Love doesn't need any language and neither does it need a specific day to be expressed. 

Each day spent with love and care for the special one is ' The Platinum Day of Love." 

Co-incidentally ours was the day when we bought platinum rings.

                                                                      **********

This post has been written for- Platinum day of love - Indiblogger.  http://www.preciousplatinum.in/en/about-platinum/platinum-day-of-love