Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Forgotten identity

Sana..... Sana....... Sana.....," Viren shouted and she still didn't respond. Angrily, he slammed open the bedroom door and walked out with a wet towel wrapped around his waist.

She was busy washing utensils in the kitchen, tap water was running, baby Neil was crying, sitting on the pram and the television was blaring out loud as Viren's  dad wanted the news to be heard loud and clear.
The early morning clutter was making him feel irritated inside but the moment he saw his wife innocently doing her work, his anxiety calmed down. Neil looked at him and gave a chuckle. Sana turned and looked at him quizzically. " You want something Viren?" she asked in a gentle tone. Hearing this, he almost forgot why he had come out irritated from his room. 

"Errr... nothing really....,"he said sheepishly and walked back. 

For the first time he felt he was acting selfish by asking her to help him with every small work he could do by himself at home . His mother had done everything for him right from childhood days and he had never stayed in a hostel. 

He thought, "Sana always felt very awkward doing things for me and would often retaliate. What has made her so calm now? She never questions." He kept pondering.

Every time she broached this topic of diving household chores he would be busy with work and the topic eventually would fade away. Had his mother been alive, Sana would have felt more relieved. Taking care of the child and his ageing father was a priority then. Things happened so fast that he didn't have time to express to her that he wanted to help her but  he just didn't know how to start with. He often took care of Neil when Sana was busy, but it was not the way he should be doing exactly. There was a housemaid to help Sana out too, but somehow situations were not going the right way. Mainly because Sana had stopped complaining or even pestering him to help her. 

Sana, an independent and strong woman who was working as an HR Manager in an MNC before she decided to quit and spend a few years to take care of Neil. Viren was not too happy as he knew how independent Sana had always been. When she expressed her wish to be at home and take care of Neil Viren didn't object either. It seemed like an understood decision. It was hard for both, but someone had to take the first step towards a decision. That time, Sana had expected Viren would come in and convince her to continue her job, at least part time, so that they could take care of their child together. 

Viren was missing those sparks from her. Her attitude to fight for the right. She seemed to be going with the flow. Not one day had she complained after Neil was born. Viren kept wondering in his room thinking what could have made her that way. He realized that even during an argument, there were moments when she would cry and hold him asking him to understand the situation. She would show immense love and immense anger at the same time, too confusing for him to take either. Nonetheless, even her 100 % attention was towards him. Things were slowly changing but it was a part of their new role. He was the one who was not giving his maximum in the relationship. He had totally been carried away with work and saving  money for their future because Sana was also not working anymore. They went out occasionally for dinner, but it would be a quiet family outing. It was never about the two of them. Thoughts were also muddled up. He never dared to take a step ahead. 

Angry with himself and the situation he got ready and started leaving for work. Just as he was about to leave, Neil came crawling and tugged at his pant. The look on Neil’s face melted him. As if Neil wanted to tell him, “ Dad, don’t leave today without showing your love to us.”

Viren put his laptop case down, removed his shoes, closed door and sat down with his son. He held Neil close and gave him a small peck on the cheek. Carrying his son, he walked around in the house playing and tickling him . A feeling of innocent joy throughout his mind. He was always of the opinion that a  father required training to handle his own child. But, when he managed to keep his child calm for minutes together, he realized that there were certain things that just came naturally.

Sana, who had gone for a bath, walked out astonished. It was a loving sight to behold. A bond between a father and his child. It was 8 months now that Neil was born. Sana had always wanted him to be independent in handling Neil. She was unable to explain to him either. She felt so excited seeing this that she rushed up to them and gave the two best men in her world, a tight hug. 

Viren was almost in tears when he got her tight and loving hug. That was his partner Sana whom he had married four years back. He had missed that tight hug from months, but had never realized. They held their son tightly between them and kissed his either cheeks on either side. 

" This is such a wonderful feeling Sana. Holding our son together and taking care of him. It's been past 20 minutes now and he's still smiling. I was always so scared to hold him thinking he would cry with my touch," Viren said in a tone full of excitement.

" You were right, dear. It's as easy I could have thought," said Viren with a blush.

Sana was pleased to the core. Her heart bounced and danced. Tears had formed a layer in her eyes ready to flow out, just when Viren held her and Neil close and gently kissed the corner of her eyes. 

" We will do things together. I'll try to help you with household chores and also taking care of Neil," Viren said in an assuring tone. 

" I can conquer the world when I have your support," Sana said looking at Viren passionately.

Let us all bring back the touch in our lives in case we have forgotten to know that a touch could be magical.   #BringBackTheTouch with,  Just as they did here #BringBackTheTouch video

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