Will you be my Valentine?

It is January 24th, 2015 and I am already nervous because I have done zero preparations for Valentine's Day. So much of work pressure and I needed to maintain this as a secret from my 'husband' who is and will be my first crush. Ours was an arranged marriage and things were decided too quickly. We did get an ample amount of time for around 6 months to know each other, but, I never got a chance to express to him that he was my crush the day I saw his picture on the matrimonial site. This is coincidence and my sheer luck that my crush turned out to be my husband- A husband who is more of a friend and also turning out to be a great partner. Only to be a little calmer about the proceedings in our relationship I had requested my parents to give a minimum of six months to understand each other. Time flew by, we were quite comfortable with each other before we got married, but there was something I was always wanted to confess to him. I could never dare to express my liking towards him from day one. After all, in an arranged marriage you want understanding and compatibility more than love. Love eventually seeps in and enriches the relationship.

I had a small plan just to woo him on Valentine's day. We had formed a good circle of like minded married couples who eventually became very close friends, especially when we wanted to hang out on weekends. This time I took up this challenge of planning a trip for the six of us (3 couples). My plan was to express to him about my feelings that I had when I saw his photo first and when I met him in person. Confessing this in front of friends was the challenging part, but I wanted to do it. I wasn't bothered about how late it was but that would be a dare for me. We had unanimously planned on a long drive to Wayanad for the Valentine’s Day as it was on a Saturday. We could start on Friday evening. It is a very beautiful place for couples to enjoy. I kept everyone informed except my husband. I requested him to keep himself free over the weekend on the pretext that we both would go on a long drive and celebrate our first Valentine’s Day after marriage together. He had no clue that our friends were coming along. The cab booking was done and also the accommodation was booked in a beautiful resort located in the lap of nature. Considering that my preparations were made for the trip I started preparing what I had to speak. I wrote it down first in my diary, which of course I had hidden so that my husband didn't get hold of it accidentally. I took out my guitar which was lying in the trunk. It had been months I had touched it because of the marriage hullabaloo. I wiped it clean and removed the dust. In fact, I was planning to come 1 hour early from work just to practice. I was searching for the perfect lyrics and finally found the exact one. It is a romantic number from Agend Vinod- " Kehte hain khuda ne jise.... " I had happened to hear my husband humming this song couple of times so thought this would be the perfect one. My plan was to sing this song while everyone was sitting around the bonfire. We would all be mesmerized in the weather, the chilling breeze and the warmth of the burning firewood. A bottle of wine and tins of chilled beer would add on to the intoxication created by the atmosphere. The moment everyone would be lost in their own romantic world, I would take this chance to bend on my knees before my husband and with the guitar in hand I would keep singing the last lines of the song... "Kehte hain khuda ne iss jahan mein sabhi ke liye.......Kisi na kisi ko hai banaya har kisi ke liye....." 

I would move forward and hold his hand tightly. Keeping the guitar aside I would hand him the diary where I had complied all those feelings which I had from the day I saw him. Giving this small gift I would tell him, "I have always had a crush on you from the day I saw your profile on the matrimonial web site. I never could gather courage to say this to you. I took time to understand you before marrying you. When I discovered the real you I could completely feel that my crush was not a short lived one. It was certainly going to be with me for a lifetime. Then came our marriage and all the ceremonies that had happened. Everything was going too fast for me to tell you separately. I was fighting with my inner self, just to tell you how I had been feeling from day one. I left this chance on many occasions thinking you would have understood my liking towards you by now. Today, I want to tell you that you have been the first person who could bring sparks in me. You pulled my heart's strings in a way that I could bring out a melody of love from them. I could see our future together the moment I met you. I would always be with you forever. "   

That's when I would ask him politely, “Will you be my Valentine?” 

Saying this I would move forward to plant a soft peck on his cheeks and end it with a passionate smooch. This would happen when all our friends would be present and they would look at us awestruck. 

To get more interesting ideas you can check http://cupidgames.closeup.in/.

The true Indian of today

After independence everyone would have been thinking that India would become a better place to live in. It undoubtedly has risen up to the expectations when it comes to progress of thoughts, education, standard of living, eradication of Polio, etc... Even Mahatma Gandhi wouldn't have thought what the current generation would be like the way we are seeing today. The change of government or officials has certainly brought a positive effect in the present day scenario, but what is inbred cannot be changed so easily. It takes an entire youth generation to bring about the revolution. But.... not everyone is as educated as they seem to be. Merely working in an MNC or being educated high class Indians will not suffice to define a true Indian. Even those who are fighting wars and protecting the country cannot be true Indians if they do not know how to maintain cleanliness around. 

So do you want to meet real Indian of today?? You must be curious by now to know what a true Indian implies in today's scenario. Here's your answer which has been given by "The Great Indian." 

I stay in Bangalore, which is considered close to a metropolitan city seeing the kind of population growth and also development. The place where I stay is one of the so called posh areas of the city. For me, India is progressing to a change and I can see 'Swachh Bharat Abhiyan' happening as planned. I visited Varanasi recently. That is when I realized that I was blinded to the real state of affairs happening in other cities. I was missing out on looking at the masses. I wasn't considering places where it comprises of majority of daily wage earning labourers. There was so much more that could have been done, but it would take an entire youth generation residing in those places to create a change. The old school thoughts prevailing there in majority needed a drastic change. A politician couldn't do much as much as the youth of today. There were funny instances in Varanasi. (Considered to be the holy city of India) No doubt it has maintained its tag from ages when it was called Benaras. 

Cleanliness was visible, but in a weird way. Every lane we passed by in Varanasi to reach any temple or a ghat we could find cows and dogs more than people. Those poor animals were not tamed and left astray to roam free. They do not know what to litter and what not to. I wanted to have an authentic street food in Varanasi. We had breakfast, which comprised of Kachori, sabzi and jalebi. The taste was out of the world but after eating, the question arose in my mind, “Where is the dustbin? Where should I throw this leaf plate?" I looked around. I could see a dog and a cow waiting with eager eyes so that they could clean up the leftover food from the leaves and then the cows would also munch away the leaf plate. Poor animals were living only on such food there. I asked the shopkeeper, " Bhaiyya, kahan fekna hai ?" ( Where should I throw the plate?)

He replied pointing at a place where everyone had dumped the leaf plates, "Wahin bahar phenk deejiye, gayyiya kha legi ." ( Just throw it outside the shop there, the cow will eat it. )

I asked in retaliation, " Dustbin kyun nahi rakha ?" ( Why didn't you keep a dustbin ?)

He replied with a very silly smile, " Areyy.. gayyiya ko khana nahi milta.. Yahi uska khana hai.. Sab saaf ho jayega." ( The cow doesn't get proper fodder or food. This is its food. Everything will be cleaned once it eats this away.)

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. At last I had to throw my plate near the cow. The moment it saw me putting it down, it lunged towards the leaf plates. It licked only the left over part of the sabzi and kachori, looked around for a while and left the plates. Even the cow didn't feel like eating the plates. Alas!! The plates were lying around scattered in one corner only for the dogs to come and smell and take them dragging to some place. In this way a trail of used plates was seen in that lane. I felt embarrassed for being a part of such filth but I was helpless. There was no dustbin visible in any remote corner also.

I was considering myself educated and was thinking I could bring about a change. After seeing the situation, I just felt that if a reform has to come, it has to come from those older generations who still are not able to adapt to changes. It is the youth of the city who have to bring about the change. 

Dare to be true!

This very touching and innocent ad by Kinley 2014 TVC can make others think and retrospect about themselves. Some might even be able to relate to the same situation shown in the ad. Many times we do things that might not be right but we somehow manage to pull through it thinking that it was right for that situation. We tend to twist or hide facts just to escape from being blunt and open about things. I remember one such instance in my life where I thought of twisting and hiding facts just to be on the safer side and escape being in trouble for the future. 

We had an audit for a certification program for our company and it was the first major audit I was facing. They designated me as the person in-charge of quality control for the entire organisation. It involved compilation of documentations done by each department. That was the tough part - If someone had asked me to maintain documentation for my team I could have done it easily but my job involved me to coax and cajole the various team heads for submitting me the documents on the right time. The various team heads were at least 10 years elder to me and so I had to respect them and at the same time get work extracted from them. My CEO was too good a person but at the same also a perfectionist. If I failed to submit documents by the stipulated time he would definitely be a not-so-good man and I absolutely dreaded that. Somehow, one day before the audit I tried to complete my work and I presented it to him knowing that there were faults and mistakes in the documentations. I just prayed that it should escape through his perusal as well as the auditor's. One of the team leads refused to sign a few sheets in a document on the pretext that she was too tired and bored of signing many documents at once. It was my luck for that day that this minor blunder got missed from the eyes of my CEO. I knew somewhere within that I was not doing the right thing by hiding something from him because being a documentation specialist I exactly knew what was wrong. I still remember the warning given by the the team lead to me, "Look, you don't try to act too smart and show all this to the CEO or the auditors. Try to hide facts and small flaws sometimes. Only then can you become a good quality in-charge." 

I had sleepless nights thinking about the same. I was worried about the outcome of the audit which was to happen the very next day. This was my first job after college and I was too inexperienced to understand the corporate world. But I knew my CEO was an honest man and he expected honesty from everyone, even if we were wrong.  The audit happened the next day.  I came to my workplace with puffed eyes as I had been crying and mulling over the same fact. I had never done something like this, not even in school days. The first thing my CEO asked me was, "Did you even sleep last night?" 

I was loathing with guilt . At one hand he was being so concerned about me and I was hiding facts from him. I told him, "Sir, this is going to be my first audit experience. I am not sure what is going to happen today" Saying this I gave a half hearted smile and left. The audit was a disaster when it came to documentation. I was not to blame but it was my fault that I had overlooked few things and hidden it even from my CEO. The lead auditor asked me, "Why is there no signature of any authorised signatory here?" 

I kept quiet. She kept repeating the same question. I told, "Madam, the team lead was too lazy to sign. and I am new to the corporate world and to the job. I will take care next time."

She looked at me sternly, just like a school principal and said, "Anyway, I am going to document this as a fault in my report". I was already embarrassed at my act. 

Finally the time of the final report submission came. All the team leads were called and my CEO was also there. The report was presented. My CEO looked upset but to my surprise the auditor blamed the team lead for not signing the document. My name was not seen anywhere but I was appreciated. I was too upset again. After the audit I took permission and tried talking to my CEO. He still seemed upset with me. 

"Can you please tell me what went wrong??" he asked me sternly. 

I explained to him the entire situation and also discussed about what the team lead told me. I ended it with just a sorry. I was too embarrassed to speak further. He looked at me and said, "Never twist facts again or hide things just to save someone who is doing something wrong. Face the truth as it is. Take this as a first hand experience and move on.."

The fact that I was not thrown out of the job and was forgiven made me a better person from that day but telling the truth to the auditor and my CEO helped me. It saved my reputation but not of the team lead. The team lead was refused promotion for one more year. 

A roller coaster back into our childhood

When there are kids at home it seems as if we are living each moment with them in their way. We are transported back to our childhood days where we could enjoy being children of their age again. When we are with them, the child within us comes alive. Our lives start changing in every way. There was a time when as a couple we were on our own planning a romantic vacation, but now we look forward to a vacation where we can take our children along. We look for enjoyment in the form of fun and frolic, an adventure trail that would not be taking a toll on our kids, a place where they can we safe and we can enjoy seeing them play, where there are informative things to see and learn, a place which will create a positive impact on the child's upbringing.  Children add magic to our trip. Their very presence makes us feel so alive. When adults travel there will be only gossips and silent admiration of the surroundings. On the other hand when we travel with kids, they will force us to talk by asking questions, by talking about innocent facts that they know, they will bring the sport spirit and the adventurer in us alive. We would be constantly on our toes. Our fitness level will increase being with kids. We will be forced to eat right so that our kids do not fall prey to unhealthy food because of us eating junk. Children will make us travel to places where we wouldn't have gone during our childhood days. We would be able to connect with them better. We will be able to see the world through their eyes. At this age we would be able to interpret their thoughts and imaginations. We, as adults who are just bogged down with work pressure and tensions in life would try taking out time to unwind. When we travel with them they will ensure that our 100% attention is towards them. This will also help a couple bond with each other in a better way; The way in which they would enjoy would bring out the happy feeling within us. If we give them a happy vacation where they would learn something and it would help us in the upbringing of the child in a constructive way. Our holiday would turn out to be fruitful. That's when we start relating to life more. We connect with the outer world with the same innocence as the child does. 

While travelling with kids there are many parameters that should be considered. Planning for the trip in the right way is very important. We should also choose travel destinations accordingly. When we are travelling with kids we have to ensure that the places where we are planning to go have clean drinking water and hygienic food facility. There is a small pool for children or any pool where we can make the child enjoy playing in the water safely along with us, a place where there are good sanitation facilities, a place which has a baby care facility, where there are clinics/hospitals nearby just to ensure that our kid doesn't suffer with any health issue there. Kids love eating food that will attract the eyes as well as something that is tasty and made with less spice. A place where they would keep snack items and milk boiling facilities for kids would be great because as parents we would not have trouble to search for a suitable place to eat just for the child. This way we also reduce the luggage we will be carrying which generally contains a child's food requirement to the maximum. A holiday should be such that the child should be able to learn something new wherever he/she travels. Travel should enrich their knowledge and it should be able show them the world in reality. What they just see or read should come alive. A child who experiences different kind of situations while travelling in the childhood days will become strong physically, mentally as well and emotionally. He/she will be able to connect with the world better. This will help in the growth of the child as a complete individual. The child will be able to remember first hand experiences for example : Going to the Zoo and seeing animals, going to see a waterfall, going for swimming, going for climbing along the rocks, going to an amusement park, going to a museum, going to a planetarium where they can learn etc.. They will be able to understand their curriculum better. They will be able to share beautiful experiences with others. When we grow as adults they will have wonderful experiences and stories to tell. They will know the world better. So as parents we must ensure that our child is having his/her overall development. We should make sure they are able to have fun, they are safe, they are healthy, they will be able to enjoy in all aspects. Any place where the child can learn and grow for the better would be the top most priority for me. A healthy child is a happy child. Health and sanitation issues should be taken care of by any parents before planning to travel. Any place which has special provisions for the kids to play and enjoy should be top in the priority. Places like a beautiful resort where we have amusement games for the kids as well as for parents to play along with them.  We should choose a place where kids can interact and mingle with other children of their age. We would shun our own inhibitions and travel to places which are only friendly for kids. Even if the charges are a little high the priority should be given on safety and happiness of the child. We should ensure that with each holiday the child learns something new and we should constantly interact with the child during the holiday to know if the child understood about the place and also always be upfront in answering their never ending questions. Their quest for knowledge should be more and they should be able to experience life to the fullest with each trip experience. It is our responsibility as parents to give wonderful travel experiences to our children which they will remember always.

When we were kids, our generation did not have such facilities which would be friendly for the kids. It is a great initiative taken by Club Mahindra with the introduction of Teddy travelogues. Here, you get to decide on a vacation which is for the kids and by the kids. The kids share their experiences in their own way about their travel and show their perspective of travel. If you want to gift such an experience to you kids then you must check out Teddy Travelogues .

True love waits

My answer to the question whether couples should or should not have Pre- Marital Sex is - NO.

It wasn't difficult for me to decide on this issue and justify myself. However modern I have become with advancing technology, social living style, thoughts and ideologies, I am against the idea of any couple venturing into Pre- Marital Sex. I feel that every individual must preserve his/her virginity till marriage. It is precious. Many might disagree with me with the counter argument that if we trust the person whom we are going to marry then why fear having sex. This theory holds good in some cases but why risk your virginity for it before marriage? There have been many instances where marital relationships are not working out after days to years of living together in a relationship. Every relationship has got a positive and negative side to it. We can only discover that once we start living together. When we have decided to take a plunge into the relationship and get it culminated into marriage then we should have the courage to face problems associated with it also. Getting into a marital relationship is equivalent to taking any major risk in life. It is completely dependent on us how we mould the relationship. Situations may not be just as they were during the days of courtship. The fear of that should not change our mind so that we try to enjoy the relationship by having sex before marriage. 

Sex is just one beautiful part of being together in a relationship but it should not be considered over building trust and love in a relationship. If one has decided that the partner he/she has chosen, is the perfect fit for them and their family,then having physical pleasure is just a few steps away after marriage. No one can question a couple then, the inner conscience doesn't question our own values and morality, there is nothing like loathing in guilt and there is no need to be scared of the consequences. There can be chances that couples are very happy for the one they have chosen as they seem to be perfect in all ways but they might not always end up having a great sexual life. This is one of the reasons for a divorce. Looking at the positive side, at least no one in the relationship loathes with a guilt throughout their life. 

On the other hand the consequences of having sex before marriage can be disastrous. Firstly, a partner who is trustworthy will never insist on having sex before marriage. Even if a partner does want to indulge into pre-marital sex just to feel the excitement and sudden kick in the relationship, it should be the responsibility of the other partner to counsel and explain saying that,"True love will always wait. There is always time to enjoy those erotic pleasures together once they are pronounced husband and wife." 

Some couples want to judge their sexual capabilities before getting married that's when they want to have sex. This has got a negative effect too. What if they do not turn out to be sexually satisfying for each other? Will they break their relationship based on one parameter? How will they be able to tell their family about the reason to call off the wedding? Even if they plan to go ahead with marrying each other, they will be lost in those mental frenzies by  imagining a horrible sexual life. When there are such tensions, couples cannot be mentally at peace and also will not be able to give mutual happiness- A major cause of sexual dissatisfaction. It might be temporary but the outcome could have a toll on the relationship that was once built on love and mutual trust. It might ruin the excitement associated with marriage.Why cause unnecessary troubles for oneself when a relationship can be happily nurtured with love,affection, care and trust. 

A situation can arise when either of the partners wanted the relationship only to have a sexual fling and the plans of wedding could be called off  after creating sexual contact. Then, the other partner feels cheated. Two lives have undergone a major change. There is a vast mental and physical agony that a partner goes through. No matter how much modernization grips us, somewhere down the corner there will be feeling of betrayal. What if they plan to marry someone else? Will they disclose about their lost virginity? Will they ever get that trust from the 'would be' partner? This is not going to happen until the would be partner has also gone through a similar instance. It can destroy multiple relationships and also affect the moral status of a human being who has gone through this. Our society is not modern enough to accept this. It leads to social stigma. Along with the couple, their families are also put through testing time when they need to testify their chastity. Why put ourselves and our family through this humiliation???

A trustworthy partner would never want to have sex before marriage. Relationships should be built on love and trust rather than sex. True love can wait to have sex. Sex is not the ultimate goal of being in a relationship. Trust and love need to be the foundation of a relationship. Sex is just one level in the relationship. Having unprotected sex before marriage has also risks of either partner contracting sexually transmitted disease like HIV, Syphilis. They get shunned by their partner, their family and the society. It can end a person's life. A precious life lost because of a foolish act of having sex before marriage.

Worst situation can arise when a woman becomes pregnant before marriage because of the foolish sexual act and then, the man decides to leave her. One act of foolishness can cause the entire family to suffer. What about the woman?? Will she ever be able to live confidently? Will she ever be able to have a happily married life? There will be 1:100000  males who will accept such a woman as a life partner. We all have got beautiful lives , then why destroy our future ourselves? Even if the woman or the man indulging in pre-marital sex gets married will they be able to enjoy their married lives.?
They can try putting away the past and starting afresh but there are more chances of comparing with the pre-marital flare. That's when the past ends up destroying the present marital relationship also. They will not be able to enjoy a new life too.

Studies have also revealed that Premarital Sex can rewire one's brain. It affects the chances of finding the right life partner. Dopamine, Oxytocin and Vasopressin are three powerful biochemicals and hormones that are released during sex between a man and a woman, help a couples bond. But, when they are introduced in casual sexual relationships,they can cause trouble. These help them committing to each other for maintaining a long term relationship. 

Scientist say, "When someone is involved sexually it makes them want to repeat that act. Their brain produces lots of Dopamine – a powerful chemical, which is compared to heroin on the brain. Dopamine is our internal pleasure/reward system. When Dopamine is involved, it changes how we remember. In the same way, Oxytocin, a hormone produced primarily in women's bodies, helps women become bonded to the object of her affection. So when a woman becomes intimate with a man, her body also releases Oxytocin and she becomes emotionally bonded to him. Oxytocin is released in a woman's body during sex. It is also called the happy hormone or the cuddle hormone. Men produce Vasopressin which serves the same purpose as Oxytocin. When one has premarital sex, one's reward circuitry is bonded to the partner now, and it will be much deeper and hurtful. Often, in breakups of people who've been sexually active, they can't tolerate the sense of emptiness, so they rush into another relationship. The neuro circuits did not have time to reset, and so they're impaired in their ability to bond with the next person, and they may become sexually active with them. This is just a repetitive cycle, and there are real impairments in bonding going on ." 

Thus, knowing how these neurochemicals interact and change the brain helps us to understand why sex is to be kept within the boundaries of marriage. It is better to wait until marriage and then enjoy those sexual pleasures slowly so that the relationship gets stronger, as it is already standing on love and trust. It is better to wait and indulge in this act after the two partners are comfortable in each other's zone after marriage. Waiting will enhance the beauty and the excitement of the real act. 

While pondering over this issue you can grab a book written by Poonaam Uppal , based on her true love story. It is available on Flipkart. Poonaam Uppal's True Love - A Mystical True Love Story on Flipkart.

Biking in a cold desert

There are few themes that are always on a writer's mind but sometimes these refuse to come in the form of writing when we want. There are situations that suddenly force those hidden thoughts out and then the outcome is in the form of an incredible story. 

I am going to narrate one such story, of my husband (Yd) who had a wonderful experience. He narrated to me this experience, which he calls as the landmark event in his life. It made him rise above his fears.  The moment I read on Indiblogger about the campaign on "Rise above fear!" promoted by https://www.facebook.com/mountaindewindia , I wanted to write about his most memorable experience. 

In Yd's words............

The plans of my road trip to Ladakh which is the mecca for bikers started about an year ago. Finally after a lot of background preparations, We- A group of Royal Enfield bikers decided to go on a road trip to Ladakh. The dates were fixed from mid of June 2012 to early week of July 2012.

We reached by train from Bangalore to Delhi . Our bikes were transported to Delhi. From Delhi our actual ride would start. 

The route: Delhi - Chandigarh - Manali -Keylong - Leh - Khardung La - Nubra - Tso-moriri - Kargil - Zanskar Valley - Dras - Srinagar - Jammu.

Preparation of  the trip had started. I wanted to start preparing three months before and wanted to get started with my bike. I had to purchase all the necessary gears. 

One of those days, I went to a buy a tire/tyre - ironically not a tire for my bike but a tire like ring cushion to sit on. I was diagnosed with coccyx bone injury just weeks before my dream Ladakh Road trip. (One day at office I fell down while playing TT and unknowingly my tail bone(coccyx) got injured and I had ignored it initially)

All my dreams were shattered,"Will I be able to do it?" I couldn't sit continuously for more than five minutes on any goddamn surface including soft cushions - the only thing I could sit on was that tire.

After consulting with multiple specialists(who expressed no hope of recovery in anything less than two years), I finally went to my family doctor; and she strongly advised me not to go on a bike trip which was about 3400 kms on crazy terrain. In fact she told me that I should stop riding my bike for about an year. That was earth-shattering for me to hear - I was really hoping to recover in a month and get back on the bike. I explained to her about my passion towards riding a bike and also about my dream trip. She was still not convinced.

"At this age coccyx injury? You have got a life to live. I won't allow you to go on this bike ride," she said angrily. I convinced her somehow and she decided to put me on the strongest pain killers for the duration of 3 weeks. I knew the consequences but decided to take my chances - My marriage was a about an year away and everybody including my girlfriend's family(now my in-laws) were very worried about me.

Hence after an entire month of convincing my family members I decided that I have to go for this trip no matter what!

We arrived in Delhi, and found our bikes waiting there at the blue-dart godown - after quickly assembling the mirrors, loading the bike with all the luggage and filling up our petrol tanks, we headed to Chandigarh - I'd not taken the Pain Killer just to gauge how bad the injury really was - but quickly had to take it on reaching Chandigarh - In addition to the Pain-Killer, I also was advised to take another antacid to counter the effect of it - In addition to this, plan was to take another altitude-sickness tablet every single day when we start riding on the hills.

From Chandigarh, we marched on to Manali, spent a day there - I was enjoying every bit of it - then on to Keylong, spent a day there before the craziness of the legendary Manali - Leh highway started. By now I'd made it a habit to pop those pills early in the morning because under no circumstances I wanted to screw this trip. The biking was strenuous and tiring as much as it was amazing. Crazy roads, crazy waterfalls in the middle of ridges (caused by the melting ice) were dangerously fun. I realized, I made the right choice - So what if I had this pain?? I'd at least be contented with what I'd done in my life. After Keylong, there were Gata loops and some of the most remote and desolate places I'd ever seen - no mobile network, no petrol, no trees, no people for about a hundred kilometers. It gets you to see into your soul.

After crossing the HP border, we entered J&K and it became a little more remote - stayed up in high-altitude Pang before making our way to the Morrey Plains - Driving through sand took the craziness to a different level. Then came some of the most beautiful villages I'd ever seen in my life and the Buddhism angle kicks in before viewing the first glimpse of the legendary Indus river - the river that gave life to the Indus Valley Civilization - some of the oldest and advanced civilizations in history.

That valley opens up to the Ladakh area and Leh was now only a few kilometers away. I was beaming all through this route that was filled up with heavy Army presence (China's close-by). After reaching the hotel (that surprisingly had a Ladhaki man speaking Kannada).We rested our body and souls for a day before heading to the highest motorable road in the whole world - Khardung-La - at a crazy height of 18380 feet, it was dauntingly high. But the kick that I got there was unbelievable.

After conquering the highest pass, we headed on to one of the more legendary valleys, Nubra - an exquisite valley on the bed of an ancient river - stayed there for a night and rode on camels (!) - the snow, the ice, the sand, the camels - my senses went hay-wire. From there we returned back to Leh before attempting the Tso-Moriri - another remote high-altitude lake. This two day trip was absolutely crazy and tested my endurance and hope to a large extent. From riding in the valley surrounded by high-altitude peaks on all sides, to going in paths which we were not sure of in the middle of the night - with absolutely no sign-boards or people or trees or any kind of light anywhere, this was absolutely crazy. We heaved a sense of relief on reaching the ITP checkpost in chilling weather before taking a tent in the village of Tso-Moriri. The lake in the morning was a pure beauty. Scintillating colors with beautiful clouds and hills were a treat to the eyes.

From Tso-Moriri, we headed back to Leh and from there we bid Leh goodbye and headed on to Kargil .The plan was to max the trip by going to the remote Zanskar Valley - a valley ridden by absolute bad roads for about 250 kilometers. This was my worst nightmare. I remembered my injury and thought about this journey probably a thousand times if I really wanted to do it - but then I finally decided to do it. The route was crazy, pathetic roads but amazing views - we crossed the 'drang-drung' glacier and some very high passes (Pang-La) before reaching Padum. This was also a time I'd lost connectivity with my family and they were very worried about my status. Padum was an old town with some old kingdoms and palaces - extremely remote. Next day we started back to Kargil (Leh to Zanskar road route does not exist, a trek exists though, called 'safed chadar' trek) . In Kargil, we felt deeply patriotic especially when we saw the sign on NH1 that read - "warning - you are under enemy observation" - felt even more patriotic after we visited the Kargil War museum and Dras sector. After Dras, came one of the craziest and most dangerous passes ever - the Zozi-La - breathtaking roads at crazy inclines that lead to Gulmarg, Kashmir. We travelled through Kashmir, reached Srinagar - by now the legendary views were almost complete and the road ahead was plain boring, so we stopped at Jammu and parceled our bikes from there - took a bus back to Delhi and took a flight from there to Bangalore.

The legendary trip was complete, but I still had a long way to go. Only after I reached Bangalore did I stop taking the pain-killers and then all that pain came back double-whammy. Physically I was crying (back to sitting on the tire) but mentally I was at peace, I was contented and it was worth it.

I had to leave biking for another year and few months before I got married and luckily all's well now The injury healed all by itself after an excruciating pain that lasted for an year and a half.

That's my story.

If you have experience to share just as it is shown in this video, please do, because we need to triumph over our fears someday. Kyunki..... Dar ke aage Jeet hai!!!

Prevent accidents- Save a life!

Our safety lies in our hands first and then with destiny. No matter how much we try to be safe while driving, accidents happen once or the other, not because we didn't follow traffic rules or have good driving ethics, it was because, someone else on the road did not follow them.

Driving carefully on the road doesn't mean we just stick to our lane while driving and follow our own path forgetting that there are other commuters on the road. They can be commuters who are driving and also pedestrians. Present day situation is such that the roads are not expanding but traffic keeps increasing on the roads along with a population burst. No matter how much we increase the various modes of transport like introduction of the Metro, local trains; traffic on the road will not decrease. Everyone above poverty line and who earns basic wages today is capable of owning a vehicle because banks have made it easy by giving the citizens the options of loan and flexible EMI. When so many vehicles are on the road and considering that the drivers are of different ages, there is no uniformity in driving. In such a situation even if one person does not follow driving rules it can cause trouble not only for them but also for the others who might not be at fault. Rash driving, overtaking, changing lanes without giving an indicator, applying brakes suddenly without an indication to the drivers behind, not following traffic signal rules, not wearing helmet, not putting seat belt, trying to squeeze through two vehicles without estimating the space between them are such unforgivable blunders on the road that can play with lives. 

Considering the way the roads are in India any driver needs to take care of the situation and abide by driving ethics. Driving rules first start from the way we need to drive. All should abide by a set of standard rules that is laid by the traffic police and not create once own rules. Focus should be completely on driving and not anything other activity while driving. The most frequent cause of road accidents now is using mobile phones while driving. This disturbs the concentration of the person who is driving leading to problems for the others. Once the driver looses concentration on the road he/she will not be able to foresee any vehicle movement around him. So one must not attend phone calls while driving. In case an important call is to be attended, then with proper indication the vehicle should be parked towards a corner so that no one is affected. Traffic should not pile up if vehicle is halted in the middle of the road suddenly. 

Breaking rules at a traffic signal can cause worst problems not only for the person who is driving but also for the pedestrians who might be crossing then, unaware of the fact that a vehicle can come suddenly. The vehicles coming from the other side where signal would be free would also not anticipate that the rule would be broken by someone thus leading to an accident. This doesn't mean that everyone meets with an accident. Such things happens daily, the person driving has to be extra careful these days thus increasing stress. Unnecessary honking also is ill manners on the road while leads to extreme noise pollution and is enough to destroy the concentration of the other people driving along. Rash driving with no control of speed can cause untoward incidents. One must follow traffic signals strictly and give way to pedestrians. Driving is meant for the roads and not on the footpath. That space should not be intruded.  

Driving ethics should be followed so that the other commuters are not caught unaware of our actions on the road. Indicators to be flashed when required and overtaking should be avoided when there is no space to move forward. 

"Do Not Drink and Drive"- this is a motto that everyone has been emphasizing. There is nothing good resulting from drinking and driving. Many lives can be put at stake if the driver is drunk. Every life is precious then why play with it. 

Wearing seat belts while driving car and wearing helmet while driving a two wheeler should be a mandatory rule followed by everyone irrespective of any rules being imposed. Every time traffic police will not be there to monitor . They should be a system such that no one is required to monitor our driving. It could all happen by just an online control. We are used to being monitored and punished. Some, follow traffic rules only because they fear being caught by the police. The attitude must change. Following discipline while driving should come from within. It should strike even before one plans to buy a vehicle. 

Rash driving should be avoided. Speed gives a thrill only for sometime but everyone should know that speed kills. It one needs to have a thrill of speed then they should try a hand on F1 racing. 

Maintaining distance between two vehicles while driving as well as stopping at a signal. This allows space for movement preventing vehicles from dashing against each other. 

The bright and high intensity beam in the cars and bikes can blind the sight of anyone who is coming from opposite. So it is better to keep it with medium intensity so that the others do not have a problem. 

Put the rear view mirror to the right use in order to know what the rider behind might be deciding to do. 

While driving behind a car, a two wheeler should not follow the same path of the car in front but instead try going little to the right or left of the car just to prevent going into a pot hole that might have come under the car and might have gone unnoticed by a two wheeler. 

A day should come when no one is required to monitor us. Only then can our country be accident free. Please join the The Nissan Safety Driving Forum to know more and keep yourself updated on road driving ethics.