Seasons of Love ( Part 2)

Shruti kept staring at the cell phone for sometime.

She picked up the phone and in a very cold voice said, " Yes, tell me."

Aditya said, " I know you don't want to talk to me but if you wish to, do listen to me."

There was a pause.

Aditya expected her to give him the green signal but she was not in a state to give that. He broke the silence again.

" I do care for you."

(Pause)( He expected her to react again but she didn't).

" I did not do anything wrong by not talking to me much, right?"

Aditya wanted Shruti to say , " Yes, you didn't do anything wrong."

She didn't say that for obvious reasons. His enthusiasm which was on its peak initially had begun to deteriorate.

He again continued....

"At least I manage to talk to you for 5-10 minutes even though I am extremely busy."

When men do not get appreciation they try to appreciate themselves because that is the only way to prevent them from loosing their confidence and keep them interest.

On the other hand, women need a lot of appreciation and they appreciate too but only when their love tank is full.

Men do need appreciation for their little efforts but they hardly have the ability to appreciate always. Not that they don't want to but they do not realize that in Venus, (where the women come from), it is a very good gesture to appreciate about little things.

When Aditya couldn't bear her silence anymore, he asked, " Are you even listening to what I am saying?"

Shruti who was in no mood to be convinced and whatever Aditya said was not going to have any effect on her at that moment.

She was hurt and she couldn't get back to normal so easily.

Fortunately or unfortunately women are not so open and welcoming when they are hurt and that's when their man is full of love. They can't accept anything they are given. It'll have a very slow effect. This is exactly the time when men become disappointed as their gift of love is rejected.

Rejection is a man's biggest fear. Especially when it's from a woman.

That's exactly the reason why guys take time to proceed in a relationship even though they tend to know the girl's feelings.

Finally Shruti replied, " Yes, I am. You may go on."

It pricked him badly.

He put a little more effort and tried to give it a last try. Convincing her and bringing her round to his views was like doing push-ups. It was as if he were just 2 steps away from his target when he was about to collapse out of tiredness.

He said, " Seeing your response I feel I have failed miserably in being the good guy. Now suddenly you seem to not like me and don't want to talk to me. I've become bad for you and you are showing cold behaviour which I can't accept. Aren't you happy with me dear?

(Pause)

" How many time do I have to tell you that I love you and you are someone really special I've met."

This the last thing that a girl would like to hear. She can be cold to her guy but can never see him loose his confidence. Aditya had expressed that to her so she had already started melting.

A woman can never get angry for long for small things. Her heart just melts when she feels the need to empathize with someone.

Shruti couldn't speak at that moment though. She felt the need to tell him that she did love him and nothing could make her love lessen for him. It was just a phase and she would be fine and her love was always going to be the same.

Aditya being a man from Mars, where intellect is not applied to think what the other person might be feeling. They believe what they hear.

Shruti still seemed very cold to Aditya.

Aditya said, " Why are you doing this to me?"

Shruti said in an irritating tone, " What am I doing? I don't want to talk to you about anything right now. I have work too. Don't spoil my day Aditya."

Aditya felt a stab on his heart.

Shruti wanted to cut off as she couldn't see her guy feel miserable and she knew very well that she was equally responsible for the present condition. So, she needed time to get back to him with love.

Aditya said with a heavy heart, " Okay! Do as you wish. Talk to me whenever you want to. I'll be waiting. "

He meant what he said. That whole day nothing would have worked for him. His mind would have been totally pre-occupied with the events that had happened. He couldn't concentrate on anything. Unknowingly or knowingly he kept checking his cell phone to see if she did respond.

He convinced himself by saying that he was not disturbed and he was checking the phone only to see the time. This was not the truth. His heart forced him to do that.

He couldn't dare to message or call her before she did as it was against his ego and he did want to stick to his words.

Women on the other hand did just the opposite when it came to this situation.

If a girl had said that she wouldn't talk to him she would call him within half an hour after she had uttered those words.

The thought process in Shruti's mind had already started. she thought about the situation again and tried to justify both sides.

When a woman takes a step forward to be understanding she really does it in an unbiased manner.

Shruti thinks and she thinks and she keeps thinking until she has the courage to type this message and send it to him.

It goes like this:

" I am sorry. I've not been equally understanding I think. I shouldn't be so unreasonable with you but I just get hurt when you blame me for your unhappiness. It's not that I am scared and insecure but I only need is your love and the expression of love. I am not so great to understand what you think even after knowing you so well."

Message sent.

She expects a reply immediately thinking Aditya would be looking at his cell. Coincidentally , It is the time when Aditya stops noticing his cell. he gets busy and he doesn't realize that his cell was vibrating..

Shruti, on the other hand feels, he is not yet out of that miserable feeling and she feels helpless.

She sends another message:

" I love you a lot Aditya. All these trivial matters are not going to lessen my love for you."

Aditya had actually come out of that feeling after a while. Though he was worried about her response but there were other things to be prioritize.

Shruti couldn't get over that until he replied to her messages. She couldn't get over that and kept lazing and doing nothing but just thinking about all that he had said.

She was coming out of her deep well. His words had started doing the magic. Women show late response but it does work. She would see all the good things in what he had mentioned. She could see his little efforts to nurture the relationship and she realized a fact that it was important to let him be himself. It was the key to their happiness.

Dr. Louann says, "Let men be men."

If they are left in their territory they would love to cross their boundaries and reach the woman's land and keep her happy as they love to act brave and dare to do things. If those efforts are appreciated they feel triumphant.

Shruti sent another message, " Please , do not misunderstand my behaviour. I am trying to understand your point of view also. We both have to keep each other happy in our own way. I always want to be the reason for your happiness. Forgive me if you can."

After asking for forgiveness, Shruti felt a boulder down her heart. She had said what she wanted to.

Aditya suddenly realized that his cell light was blinking.

He eagerly read all the messages and smiles.

With each message his smile broadens and he feel relieved.

He felt that his words had finally affected her.

He reads the last message again.

He replies, " Of course. I do!! Love you too. I am little busy. Talk to you later dear. "

Shruti jumped on her bed to see his message. She had expected him to say something more but seeing the message her enthusiasm did go down but she wasn't sad. She did feel happy.

She expected him to reply, " I love you a lot and I can never be angry with you."

What Aditya had messaged meant the same as above but just that the words had been put in a different form.

Men can't play with words. Their words mean what they say.

For them, SORRY, is a very big word and if they don't get a response like, " It's okay! they feel that they have committed the biggest crimes on earth.

On the other hand, SORRY, is a very common word in a woman's dictionary. She uses it for the slightest of things going wrong. Even if she forgets to call him back she says sorry and to get a reply like, It's okay, is not enough for her.

Women need full assurance by words that their sorry had been accepted but what they do hear from men is just an , It's okay. From a man's point of view they mean what they say but the woman thinks that they are just trying to put this off.

Such a confusing mystery with two different kinds of brains.

This is called the Autumn in love. This is the time when both learn to nurture their love. They learn to understand and give time to realize what they feel.

It takes time but it does have effects.

To be continued.................

Seasons of Love ( Part 1)

7:00 AM

The yellow light on the cell phone flickered.

1 message received

Aditya reads the message: Let’s just get over with everything!!

Aditya rubbed his eyes and opened them wide. He reads the message again. He wipes the mobile screen and checked the sender’s name again.

Yes, it was certainly Shruti who had messaged.

He checks the time when the message had been sent. It read: 3:00AM, which meant just 4 hours back.

He scratched his head and immediately hit the call button on the last dialed number. Before the call could be connected his fingers were forced to cut the call.

He became restless.

The thought process that goes on in his mind:

“What’s wrong with her? Was she drunk when she had messaged this? What did I do that made her say this? I don’t even remember the conversation we had last night. What to do?? She must be sleeping now. I can’t even disturb her as she slept so late. What on earth could have happened that made her write this? Have I not been caring enough??”

Aditya broke his head for a while pondering over on text message and then got irritated by this thought processing. He walked out of his room and stood in the balcony.

Guys never think so much on these little matters but when they do think, it just makes them so resentful and angry that they forget all the good things that have happened. They start feeling insecure, hurt and helpless. They can’t bear to hear the word of rejection from their partner once they’ve given their love.

Aditya started feeling the same and in the event of hiding his feelings of loosing his love, he gets angry with her thinking how could she have said something like that to him when everything was going well.

He couldn’t wait anymore and gave her a call. He didn’t know how to begin the conversation so chose not to speak first. He didn’t even greet her.

Shruti spoke in a loving yet sleepy voice: “Good morning love.”

Aditya took a gulp down his throat.

She continued saying, “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, I did,” he replied.

He couldn’t speak a word more than what was asked for. He was not able to get the strange behaviour.

He thought: (“How can she act so normal after messaging all that?”)

After a long pause, Aditya decided to break the silence.

He asked, “What was the message you sent last night? What did I do?”

Shruti (pretending that nothing had happened) said, “Nothing dear. I was not feeling good about things.”

Aditya replied, “What has happened? Will you say something clearly?”

Shruti (gaining her confidence and all set to strike back) says, “Yes, you are the reason for everything. Do you even realize how bad I feel at times when you say something in your bad mood? It’s been a week we’ve spoken to each other properly. I have my own problems and sometimes I get helpless when I am not able to talk to you. Even if you talk to me you don’t feel like asking anything and you have hardly anything to say these days. What am I supposed to interpret when I hear all this and do you even realize what you said last night??”

Aditya, (who had been listening to her patiently) spoke in an angry tone, “What?”

Shruti (very confidently) replies, “You told me that I am the reason for pissing you off always. I am the one who spoils your mood. If that is so, then why do you have to talk me? So, I thought its better you stay free and happy.”

Aditya was completely furious by then and he replied in an angry tone, “What was wrong in what I told you. I was absolutely right I think. You are indeed the person who can spoil my mood and my day too. I have my own tensions and worries too. Will you just let me be myself? All I want is a little mental peace. Can’t I demand that too?”

Shruti had been very strong with her reasons all this while broke down into pieces from within when she heard those lines. She hadn’t expected him to say that. She wanted to know the reason for his behaviour and also wanted him to justify himself if there was any reason. (Considering the actual picture, there was no specific reason at all.)When she was blamed again, she lost all the power to fight back. Her condition was like that of a kitten which was very hungry yet had to stay in one corner seeking for shelter on a cold rainy night.

She took a deep breath and gulped down the tears down her throat and said, “Ya, you are right. I am sorry for everything. That’s the reason I messaged you like that. From now I won’t be the one who spoils your day.”

She didn’t wait for him to speak but cut the call. After keeping the call down, Shruti threw her phone furiously on the bed, scratched her head and got up from her bed. She picked up her phone again and went to the ‘Sent items’ folder just to realize what she had said last night.

Thoughts in her mind: Do I really want to get over with this relationship? Do I have to loose his confidence at this ripe stage of our relationship?

She got angry with her own self and switched off her phone, closed her eyes and buried her face into the pillow.

Hot tears streamed down into the pillow and she wailed from within thinking about the events that had happened and also blaming herself equally. She had lost self confidence by then and she felt as if she was sitting in a ditch and found no means to come up.

Aditya also realized what he had just said and he felt helpless as only the last words she spoke lingered in his mind.

All those millions of ‘Love you’ she used to say was all washed off and was in the drain. He felt helpless and like a loser thinking that she had lost her confidence on him. He was angry not with Shruti but with the situation that he couldn’t do anything to make her feel good and happy again. He had lost miserably in this test. The fear of losing her made him even more furious and that anger came out on her.

He tried dialing her number after one hour and her cell was still switched off. He desperately wanted to tell her that he loved her so much but only because he couldn’t see her unhappy because of him, he was showing his anger on her. He could have somehow made her feel good. He cursed everything that came his way, slammed the door and went into his room.

This is such a typical situation faced by people in relationships but what mistakes people do here is to not understand each one’s need.

There’s wasn’t much that was happening between them. They were just going through what is called- Summer in love.

Aditya felt that just few days back he had expressed his love to her by telling her a lot of things and Shruti had felt so happy about it. The few days according to Aditya’s calculations were some 15 days back.

For women, reassurance of love is required. If a guy says ‘Love you’ to a girl she would expect the guy to tell her ‘love you’ as many times as he could so 15 days was like a forgotten old story which was just the opposite with guys.

Women need reassurance not because they are insecure or feel their guy doesn’t love them. They want guys to express their love always. They want that love tank to be full always. Whereas, for men expressing their love once meant a lot and they expect the opposite sex to remember that always.

Women are like waves. They go so high and then low. Sometimes they are in high spirits and sometimes they are in low. This happens very often. It can happen even within 5 minutes that’s when men say they can’t understand women.

They undergo a stage at this stage when they can be stabilized only by love and understanding. They need open ears and full attention from their partners. They don’t want solutions to their woes but they just want them to be heard. In Venus they had learnt to practice empathy. They solved others problems and leant to listen to each other but in Mars it was just the opposite. They would only come forward to help when asked for. They didn’t how to empathize until someone asked for it.

Women go deep down in their well feeling low about themselves for no reason at all. They feel helpless and low without any string reason. That’s when they need to be heard and men feel it’s not right. Men interpret that they lack self-confidence and try to advice them, which is the biggest mistake.

Shruti was feeling bad about certain things and because of Aditya’s behaviour she felt bad even more. When he blamed her again she felt even worse and lost her confidence even more.

Women can do anything when they feel loved and cared for. That’s their biggest strength and weakness. A little bit of honest appreciation from the opposite sex will make them feel much different.

Men on the other hand are like rubber bands. They’ll stretch and stretch just to move away and get aloof at times but then they’ll be forced to come back because they don’t want to test their tensile strength till the maximum limit. They always want to come back with extra force which if seen in the form of love. This is when they expect their partner to understand them.

Aditya would have felt the same. He would have wanted to pull away a bit from her not because of any fault of hers but it was the time when he needed to visit his den to take time for himself. He would have eventually come back to her with lot of love but before that Shruti reacted to his behaviour which hurt him.

Shruti wouldn’t have felt bad if he hadn’t blamed her. She couldn’t dare to be responsible for his unhappiness as she always wanted to the reason for his happiness. When she realized that she had made him upset she felt even more upset and weak.

Shruti would have expected Aditya to say something after reading the message that could make her feel better, “I need you. I love you. Please don’t go away. I will not be happy without you.”

These he would have felt within but what Shruti wanted was to listen to them verbally. In a moment of her sadness she would have lost all the strength to even think what he felt.

It was against Aditya’s manliness to talk about these feelings.

The amount of confidence she had initially arguing with him had vanished eventually as she saw lack of empathy. Shruti didn’t lack confidence but when she remembered the words he had spoken she felt shattered.

She switched on her phone.

There was a message from Aditya.

It read: Why don’t you have confidence in your own self? What can’t you be happy with this happening? Why are you so pessimistic about everything?

This time she felt worse again. The one who could have understood her in her worst situations happened to be the one who was advising her. She wanted to be understanding and act in a mature way but after all this the situation became worse…..

She was about to break down completely when he phone rang.

Her heart raced when she heart the ring tone.

It was Aditya.

To be continued………………….

(Rest of my post will be containing the other seasons. So keep reading..)

Seasons of love

After writing my post on ' What - A Girl- wants' I got encouraging reviews from my readers. Based on that I went a little ahead do a bit of research on the psychological study of the male and the female mind and found that it is indeed an interesting topic. I was also engrossed in few of the mails that I received based on Dr.Louann Brizendine's recent book " The Male Brain". She has already written a book named" The Female Brain" before, in which she has thrown light upon those delicate and harsh facts that men need to know about a woman's psychology. Dr..Louann Brizendine is a psychologist and because of her book every newspaper is having posts with something related to what is called, ' Love,sex and deceit.' Thanks to the recent hindi movie, ' Love, sex aur Dhokha' which has been helpful in kindling these thoughts in people.

Keeping these points in mind I have few things expressed in a simple language because there exist certain people who go by the number of pages present in a book or it's thickness. This is for those who don't like to sit with a book and read continuously. It's a combination of certain books that I have read and my own observation. People might disagree with a lot of things which I may write but it's just a platform where I am sharing my own thoughts and trying to drill in some facts that I have come across.

I would like to drive home the point based on short instances. the situation is completely fictitious and the characters too though these characters might have certain traits which might be similar to a lot of my readers.

The most common phrase used to describe when a person is in love is : " Love is in the air."

Truly speaking, love is always there in the air, it's just that we are not able to breathe in that love along with the air. That's when something, called seasons of love comes into pictures.

Love varies according to the way people take it.

There's something called the Spring in love- when there is immense happiness and everything seems to be beautiful around just as nature seems to be equally beautiful then.

Summer in love- When it's extremely hot and love goes through hardships. It's very difficult to maintain it. People struggle at this time and if things don't go well they loose hope and love fails miserable even after having a beautiful spring.

Autumn in love- This is a more mature phase when one has to just sit back and feel relaxed and secure in love. Good thoughts settle in and great understanding develops.

Winter in love- This is a time when love is practically dormant. It's cold and meek. It goes under hibernation. It requires some rest and aloofness.

Love is always there in all seasons but it's just the way it expresses itself that matters the most.

Not talking more on this I would like to give few instances which would help in explaining the seasons of love.

What –‘A Girl’- wants…………..

Well the title that I have given might not be grammatically correct but I needed to emphasize on those words. It certainly has nothing to do with the movie that has been named in the same way or the book that has been written.

Girl: Don’t you realize that you have to give me more time?

Guy: I understand. You also understand my situation at times.

Girl: Okay. I will but you should also make an attempt. I can’t do so much always.

Guy: I am not able to get what you are saying.

Girl (frustrated): Never mind. Leave it.

Guy: I don’t know what you want. I can just say girls are confusing.

There goes the line- Girls are confusing. No matter how many times we try to decipher this fact men can never understand women completely. It’s a fact and it’s true. That’s the reason why books like, “Men are from Mars and Women from Venus” have been written and there millions of mails that are forwarded each day which give lessons to carry on a normal life. I am sure every guy would be feeling the same way when a girl confuses them with her words.

So, let me make things simpler. Based on my personal experience and survey that I made I have some tit-bits which I am sure can help to reveal what a girl exactly wants. I am also sure that even after reading these, things might not be simpler until you put into practice.

• Learn to keep her happy. She doesn’t want someone who can bring stars down from the sky but we want someone who can keep her happy by making her enjoy those little moments in life.

• She pays attention to detail. So, be careful.

• She doesn’t want you to praise her every time and tell how good she looks but all she needs is an honest appreciation.

• After a certain point of time a sensible girls stops wearing those pink glasses she has put on her eyes. She never wants to talk about fantasies. She sticks to reality.

• Don’t be practical with her always. Be rational.

• When direct statements don’t work, use something which is called, sweet talk according to the girl’s dictionary and see how things change. Love can tame her.

• If a girl is not in a good mood and says, “I don’t wanna talk.” In a girl’s dictionary it doesn’t mean the same. It means, “Talk to me more and make my mood alright.”

• If you ask a girl, “Anything wrong”. The girl would reply, “Nothing.” A girl’s nothing means that there is always something that is wrong and it’s your job to find out what it is.

• Handle them with patience.
  
  
• If you ask a girl, “What kind of guy you want?”

85% of it will be what she would like in you but she will lay stress on the 15% which is not in you and that would be her choice. Don’t get fooled because she will emphasize on her views later though.

• A girl’s idea of an ideal man keeps changing as she passes different stages but ultimately what she wants in a guy of her choice would be something she has been seeing in her dad. She will make sure that the point is taken in by you.

• If a girl says, “I miss you.” It means that she does miss you but she eagerly wants to hear what you have to say even though she will not express it out.

• She wants you to be expressive and truthful.

• Never take her for granted. She would make sure that she’s not the one to be messed around with if such a situation arises.

• Make her feel important and show that you care.

• She can get impractical, overly emotional, and overly lovable then don’t show that you are bored. Act mature and try to bring her round to your views slowly. She will understand and then come back to normal.

• Follow those little advices she gives. If not all at least few of them. She will never get offended by anything you say.

• Be a good listener and for once make her just shut up and you do the talking . She would love to be handled liked that.

• Be authoritative but at the same time let her live her own way.

• Give her all the love you can give and she will always be understandable.

I think this would be enough to make you guys understand what a girl wants and bring her round to your views too…..

I would like to conclude by quoting lines said by Oscar Wilde:

"A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction. "

So, best of luck guys!!!

It's just luck....

Before I begin I would like to mention that I am writing an account of this incident only because my friend Yd told me to write about it. I have been still wondering about the incident.

I had recently been to Bangalore to visit my friends. As usual the hang out place for friends would be malls first. I was in Forum Mall with my friends where I had been to meet a friend of mine after a long time. It was a great evening in Bangalore. My friend asked me, “Where do u wanna go?”

It was 7:00 PM and after having a tiring day my answer was certainly CCD.

Forum Mall has a small CCD in the ground floor which is an open CCD. It looked a little congested unlike the other CCD’s but for me it didn’t matter as long as it was CCD coffee and I had a good company. We both ordered Café Mocha which is one of my favourite flavors.

The coffee tasted amazing and as we got engrossed in our conversation. Suddenly, one guy who looked like someone who generally would be seen at the roadside came up to my friend and asked him, “Yahan pe dhobi ka ghar kahan hai?”

My friend was smart enough to understand that this was some guy who had come to fool us so he gave him so weird direction which never existed and tried to ward him off.

When all this was happening I felt that something was wrong. I started thinking, why would some random chap come up to only both of us of all the people whom he found in CCD and ask for the address? He didn’t look good too. That’s when I realized that I had hung my hand bag on my chair. I turned to have a look at it and it was gone!!

I stood up immediately and told my friend that my bag wasn’t there. I was frantic and went and complained to the CCD people. My friend kept telling me to look around and see if I had mistakenly kept the bag somewhere else. Till then everyone who was there in CCD was looking at me helplessly.

My friend took me to the security and we explained about the whole situation. They told us that there was a camera facing CCD and they could probably see what had happened. They also did a good job by alerting all the security guards in forum about the loss. My friend was trying to calm me down but even he was worried seeing my condition. Thankfully I had my phone in my pocket which I could use to do the needful( contacting my parents, blocking my ATM cards, informing my friends and college authorities too) .


I had 2 ATM cards, my wallet with my PAN card, my train ticket, college ID card, my hostel room keys, my pen drive, money, my ear phones, charger, my one my most precious sketching and the bag was extremely precious to me as it was a gift from my brother.

It was just 2 minutes that all this had happened and I was thinking how to deal with the worst. I still had some hope so went around CCD to search for my bag. It was then when I saw a waiter from CCD and a security guard walking towards me with my hand bag and a plastic bag. It was the 3rd minute after the incident. It was that moment I felt as if I was face to face with the divine. I checked my bag completely. Not a penny had been stolen from it. It was intact and I could just give a million thanks to the security system in forum for giving me my bag back. I had heard about such incidents before so I could figure out the spookiness soon and took the right step at the right moment.

It was then the whole scenario was clear. While that guy who had come up to us and tried to keep us busy in the conversation, there was another guy who flicked the bag from behind, finding me distracted. It was the very right second that I became alert and reacted because of which he started running with my bag towards the other entrance. The security guards were very swift and caught hold of him before he left the mall. He threw away the bag and the packet. I went immediately to the security officers there and thanked them, I don’t know how many times. I wrote a nice feedback in their register. I held my bag close to me. My friend kept consoling me and he was himself wondering what had happened. He was as shocked as I was but we both had a big smile on our face. I was so happy that I went back to CCD to that waiter and thanked him. I always carry a chocolate with me when I travel. This time I had a big bar of Dairy Milk. I gave it to him with a big smile.

My friend was just discussing about the incident and advising me not to carry all important things in a bag always. It was then when I saw an unknown packet with him. I asked him if he had got something in that packet. He plainly refused and said he assumed it would have been mine. We tried to open it and saw some dirty clothes in it. It was certainly the thieves’ clothes. We went to the security officer and gave it back. In the end we both had a hearty laugh over this.

I couldn’t stay inside forum anymore. I moved out with my friend and felt the cool breeze.

I don’t know whom to thank, The Almighty, my lucky stars, the millions of prayers for me that my loved one do everyday for my well being, my alertness, the swiftness of the security guards or my lucky charm who was there with me then.

I can just say : ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN OVER A COFFEE.

One year down the memory lane…….

24th September, 2009

Time: 7:00pm

Venue: Vaishanvi Hall, Manipal

Abhi: I, on behalf of all the second year students give a hearty welcome to all to the new faces for the Fresher Party’09…

Archana: Those faces which have become a year old and no longer remain new………… (Continuation …)

I was on the stage, compeering for the Fresher party for our juniors. It was then I realized that one year had sped so fast. I was on the same stage exactly one year back ago, performing as a fresher and introducing myself. One would wonder how a Fresher Party could be of such importance even at a post graduate level. It might not be like that for everyone but for me it was the first fresher party I was attending. I didn’t have the privilege of attending a Fresher Party in my under graduation due to restrictions put by the college authorities.

I didn’t have the time to think about the past there as I had to carry on with my compeering. One by one the juniors came and introduced themselves. The evening was full of colour, wickedness (as per the theme for the fresher party), full and frolic. We enjoyed ourselves to the maximum. After the party I came back home and went down the memory lane again.

One year began with the Fresher party where we performed on stage and for the first time each person there tried to discover the hidden potentials within them. Many of my classmates refused to actively participate but when a handful came forward to help me and my co- CR, Abhi out, organizing any show wasn’t difficult at all for us. We pulled it off well. We started mingling with each other. Studies went along which occupied the major chunk of the time that we spent.

The trend of roaming around in campus and wiling away time by simply chatting, eating out, and exploring new places was replaced by the study hours in the library. Studying Anatomy, Physiology and Bio- Chemistry together seemed a pain for all those who were from a non medical background. We were picking up pace slowly.

I still remember the day we had to enter the dissection hall. I had not dissected anything except a flower in my school days. The maximum I did was that I had dissected a fish that too wearing gloves with the help of my friend as being a vegetarian I couldn’t bear the smell of fish. After that I didn’t bother studying Botany and Zoology, thanks to my course in VIT. This time I couldn’t have escaped. What a progress!!! I was entering a dissection hall where there were steel tables, arranged in one row and each table had one cadaver (dead body in layman terms). We were instructed to carry our own forceps to the lab. I had no idea as to what was going to happen in the lab. My friends started telling their stories about the dissection labs which they had heard from their seniors. We always had dissection classes on Friday’s and it was for 2 hours and it used to be just before lunch. I didn’t speak a word. I just needed the courage to face it. We wore our lab coats and entered the lab and an irritating odour hit my smell receptors. My eyes started burning and the first thing I did was to out my handkerchief on my nose. It was horrible and then each table had one cadaver mostly 5 year old, some full , some half dissected, some had only the organs that were exposed and some had the heart, kidney, stomach and all the other organs removed. I looked at all this with my eyes wide open which started watering soon.

Errrrr….. I wasn’t crying. It was the formalin that did this job. Every table had a skeleton which was hanging with the help of a hook. After 1 hour I tried to turn around and look at all my friends. They were in the same state as I was in but I kept control. The first day I hardly spoke except for answering a few questions asked by my table teacher. We had to study the bones of the human body first and familiarize with the anatomical terms. We finished the DH and I went to wash my hand. I think I washed my hands 5 times with dettol that day before having food. I quietly had food that day. My friends kept pestering me to share my experience about the lab but I controlled till I was done with lunch. It was then I realized that it wasn’t that difficult to feel normal even after facing some which could be as horrifying as a horror movie.

Week after week the same thing continued and after a month I was so used all this that I there was nothing that could make me feel horrible. I learnt to behave professionally and after this I had one dialogue to tell my friends, “Horror movies???? Is there something more horrifying than watching your own body look alike being dissected??”

Anatomy was so difficult to be handled but once we got a grip of it we could manage but it was very volatile so we devised new methods and pneumonic to learn the terms. The classes were also fun as we as extremely boring. I either slept during anatomy class or even if I had written something I couldn’t get everything registered during the class. The professors tried hard to explain very well and it did help to an extent.

Next comes, Physiology which was even more screwing. The whole department kept us on our toes the whole year and we learnt to be punctual and disciplined only because of the physiology department. I was not allowed to attend 2 classes for coming ‘a second’ later than the professor. Then I started setting my watch to the time that physiology department followed exactly according to the IST. A bell rings here everyday at 8am and 2pm just to remind everyone about the exact time. Facing viva in physiology practical meant we had to start studying one month before and if we didn’t do that we had to face an embarrassing situation in front of the professors who very sweetly made us feel illiterate.

Bio- Chemistry labs as well as classes were always fun but if we took a chance with the subject we were bound to suffer at the end. To cut the long story short in KMC, Manipal we couldn’t take a chance with anything. We all had just one aim that time was to clear first year with a decent score.

Amidst all this we all grooved into the Manipal atmosphere by hitting the discs once in a while, attending programs, watching movies, trying out new places to eat as and when we got time. After all this it was the time when it was the season of cultural activities in Manipal. It began with our practice sessions for Spandana. It is the fest organized by the M.Sc students and it was something to look forward to. Everyone was roped in to one or the other program. Next in line was Utsav which is a Manipal inter-college fest and it was followed by Flava - The food festival.

By the beginning of May the exam tension started building up. We had done with all the internal exams by then. One month of study holidays to finish the entire one year syllabus with the exams being held continuously for three days. To spoil our determination the monsoons set in Manipal in the month of June and July. The weather was so conducive to sleep that we had to fight with our sleep in order to study. If it started raining here it wouldn’t stop or else it would rain suddenly. It just seemed as if someone was emptying buckets full of water and when the water got depleted in the buckets it stopped raining. The rains were so unpredictable that we couldn’t move out of the house without an umbrella. I think apart from the attires and dressing style what Manipal students flaunt about is the kind of umbrella each one possessed. The kind of umbrella one uses here adds on to the style statement.

This phase was also over along with those 3 days of exam. It seemed as only 3 subjects but those days were horrible. Answering exams and waiting for the results was the most horrifying experience I have had so far in the past one year. I wasn’t this tensed even during my board exam in fact, any exam that I have answered so far. The moment results came it was as if one year of that hard work had been paid and it was so wonderful to have ‘PASSED’ first year with decent marks and get into the departments of our choice for which each one was there in KMC for their post graduation.

If you'r not the one......

If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?