Sunday, April 25, 2010

Seasons of Love ( Part- 3)

Shruti calls up Aditya and says, " Can we meet up tomorrow sweetheart?"

(She is expecting a yes but with that long pause after her request had been completed she senses that her request could be turned down.)

Well her intuitions were right.

Women have a very active sixth sense. They know exactly well how their man will react. Sometimes they just want their intuition to go wrong.

Aditya, " Hmmmm... errrrr.. actually sweetheart, I have got some work. I don't think we can meet tomorrow. What about day after?? Will that be fine with you?"

Aditya wanted to agree to her request as he wanted to meet her as much as she wanted to but he had practical constraints. He felt sad when he tried to turn down her request but he had to do it.

Men don't rule everything emotionally. They have a more practical approach. That's how they set their priorities.

Shruti ,who was very upset with her request being turned down didn't know how to reply to him. The first thing that came out of her mouth was , " It's okay dear. We can meet on Sunday."

She did not want to meet him a day later. She wanted to meet him the very next day but understanding his condition she acted sensibly and said a yes. She was fully upset as her plans had not worked accordingly. She tried to cheer herself up by planning to go shopping and trying to do other important things which she had decided to that particular weekend. This made her feel a little better and self-dependent.

The best way to relax in a woman's dictionary is to shop. It can be anything. Women shop more when they are upset or depressed.

Shruti had made these plans within minutes while she was in a conversation with Aditya.

She told him about her plans which made him feel even better.

Aditya replied in a relieved tone, " That's great. At least you can spend time doing something good instead of wasting it because of my work. We will surely make it on Sunday dear. Once again I am sorry."

When Shruti decided to be self dependent and didn't let her plans of the day be spoilt because of Aditya, he felt relieved. He felt he was not blamed and when men are out of this guilt of the blame game, they have enough reasons to make the woman in their life happy.

They have the freedom to do what they want and when that freedom is entwined with understanding from their partner they feel happy.

Aditya is all set to finish his work as soon as possible and surprise his girl by meeting her on Saturday. He has another reason to make her even more happy so he plans something special for Sunday too. He tries to take her out on a outing on Sunday without her knowledge.

He feels excited to work faster as he is not under pressure. On the other side, Shruti, also starts feeling good slowly and plans things for the day. She decides what she has to wear and also plans what she needs for herself.

Men like women who are independent and they feel happy for those women who do not depend on them for their happiness. A man thinks that a woman should be capable of keeping herself happy even when he is not able to.

Shruti goes for shopping and ends up enjoying half of her day. She is quite content with herself and the happenings of her life. On the way she drops down at one of her friend's place and spends her time there. She gets her house all set and clears up the mess that had been piling up and she also gets some time out for herself to make herself something good to eat.

It's 9:00 Pm and Shruti just wonders as to what Aditya would be up to at work. She looks at her cell and tries to type a message when it says : Aditya calling.................

She eagerly receives the phone.

" Yes sweetheart," She replies in an enthusiastic tone.

Listening to her chirpy voice Aditya feels overjoyed. He is excited to even imagine how she would react when she would see him in a while.

" Listen dear, can you please come down. I am outside you apartment. I need a little help, " he tells this in a very serious tone only to see the mixed emotions in her.

Perplexed, Shruti runs down her apartment wearing her home slippers, her hair tied up in a careless knot with a clip and few strand falling on her face. She looks relaxed yet red because of the sudden flush of emotions when she sees Aditya.

" What happened? Are you okay?" she asks in a caring tone.

Aditya kept smiling at her seeing the confusion on her face.

They didn't talk much but kept looking at each other. Shruti somehow senses the playful attitude of Aditya and begins to smile.

She looked even more beautiful with that mixture of expression on her face.

Men love to see all kind of emotions on a woman's face when they know they have done a good thing. Anger is something that they love to see on a woman's face when they know how to do away with that anger. Otherwise, a woman's anger is something a man can't bear.

Aditya walks up to Shruti and gives her a hug even before she could speak a word more.

" Let's go for a walk dear," he says in a very demanding yet lovable tone.

" Oh, how am I supposed to come like this ??? Give me 5 minutes to get ready," Shruti requests in a child like tone.

She's so happy and excited seeing him that she doesn't know what to do.

Aditya says, " You look good like this. Come on... we need to hurry."

Aditya feels proud that he could do something to make his girl feel even more happy.

They keep walking for a while without talking much and just feeling the silence.

The presence of each other being there makes them feel happy and secure. It's not words that counts here. It's every breath that each one takes in their presence that matters.

Aditya asked Shruti, " So ... how was your day sweetheart?"

Shruti very excitedly replied, " It was just amazing. (Pause)It's even more amazing because of your surprise."

Aditya was on cloud 9.

Everything he had thought was happening and he had finally managed to give that extra happiness to the girl.

It was the time when both had learnt to make each other happy after all those seasons of endurance.

There was a time when they hardly had any time to talk to each other or meet other in their busy hectic schedule. They hardly communicated and there were times when both thought the relationship on a stand still. That's when Shruti tried to break the monotonous schedule and bring in some life. They needed to meet and be with each other in order to welcome the spring in their love after a cold winter.

Generally this is a time to rest, reflection and renewal. It welcomes home the season when there's only love, caring and understanding.

Aditya and Shruti had somehow managed the situation by understanding each other and giving time.

Communication is very important for women. They express easily as compared to men. So, when a woman communicates it is easier for a man to understand what she goes through and he tries to help her out in his own way.

If men are asked for support and they have the full freedom to say ' NO' then they will be more willing to help and support. That's how their brain works.

" Thanks a lot for this cute and lovely surprise," Shruti said looking at Aditya with lot of love in her eyes.

Aditya smiled and he smiled wider looking at her.

He held her hand softly and gave it a squeeze to show that he was really happy that he could make her feel good.

He could feel her trust and confidence in him.

Women have this magic. They say the most difficult things in a very simple way. Men speak better with actions.

Men feel better when asked for support.

Aditya started talking, " You know dear it was horrible day at office today. There wasn't anyone to work and we had a very irritating client."

Like this he continued with his office woes and Shruti listened to him with extreme interest and admiration. Finally, he had made an attempt to share everything with her. She felt important. It wasn't that she meant any less to him before but when one shares it feels great.

Women in Venus believed in sharing and caring. That was one of their ways to show love.

They took a walk for almost one hour and then finally it was time for Aditya to leave.

He said good bye and gave her a kiss on her forehead.

Shruti was walking back to her apartment when he called her back and said, " Be ready tomorrow at 8:00 AM sweetheart. We will go out somewhere."

Saying this he gave a big grin. Shruti looked surprisingly at him and said, " You are one surprise package."

Women love surprises and men love to surprise women just to enjoy the look of their face.

She came close to him and gave him a kiss and said, " See you tomorrow then."

This was the end of Winter and beginning of Spring.

They tried to overcome their shortcomings and took time to understand each other.

Love is always in the air. It's all about the various seasons which need to be enjoyed. It requires a lot of endurance. After all it's everyone's cup of tea.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Seasons of Love ( Part 2)

Shruti kept staring at the cell phone for sometime.

She picked up the phone and in a very cold voice said, " Yes, tell me."

Aditya said, " I know you don't want to talk to me but if you wish to, do listen to me."

There was a pause.

Aditya expected her to give him the green signal but she was not in a state to give that. He broke the silence again.

" I do care for you."

(Pause)( He expected her to react again but she didn't).

" I did not do anything wrong by not talking to me much, right?"

Aditya wanted Shruti to say , " Yes, you didn't do anything wrong."

She didn't say that for obvious reasons. His enthusiasm which was on its peak initially had begun to deteriorate.

He again continued....

"At least I manage to talk to you for 5-10 minutes even though I am extremely busy."

When men do not get appreciation they try to appreciate themselves because that is the only way to prevent them from loosing their confidence and keep them interest.

On the other hand, women need a lot of appreciation and they appreciate too but only when their love tank is full.

Men do need appreciation for their little efforts but they hardly have the ability to appreciate always. Not that they don't want to but they do not realize that in Venus, (where the women come from), it is a very good gesture to appreciate about little things.

When Aditya couldn't bear her silence anymore, he asked, " Are you even listening to what I am saying?"

Shruti who was in no mood to be convinced and whatever Aditya said was not going to have any effect on her at that moment.

She was hurt and she couldn't get back to normal so easily.

Fortunately or unfortunately women are not so open and welcoming when they are hurt and that's when their man is full of love. They can't accept anything they are given. It'll have a very slow effect. This is exactly the time when men become disappointed as their gift of love is rejected.

Rejection is a man's biggest fear. Especially when it's from a woman.

That's exactly the reason why guys take time to proceed in a relationship even though they tend to know the girl's feelings.

Finally Shruti replied, " Yes, I am. You may go on."

It pricked him badly.

He put a little more effort and tried to give it a last try. Convincing her and bringing her round to his views was like doing push-ups. It was as if he were just 2 steps away from his target when he was about to collapse out of tiredness.

He said, " Seeing your response I feel I have failed miserably in being the good guy. Now suddenly you seem to not like me and don't want to talk to me. I've become bad for you and you are showing cold behaviour which I can't accept. Aren't you happy with me dear?


" How many time do I have to tell you that I love you and you are someone really special I've met."

This the last thing that a girl would like to hear. She can be cold to her guy but can never see him loose his confidence. Aditya had expressed that to her so she had already started melting.

A woman can never get angry for long for small things. Her heart just melts when she feels the need to empathize with someone.

Shruti couldn't speak at that moment though. She felt the need to tell him that she did love him and nothing could make her love lessen for him. It was just a phase and she would be fine and her love was always going to be the same.

Aditya being a man from Mars, where intellect is not applied to think what the other person might be feeling. They believe what they hear.

Shruti still seemed very cold to Aditya.

Aditya said, " Why are you doing this to me?"

Shruti said in an irritating tone, " What am I doing? I don't want to talk to you about anything right now. I have work too. Don't spoil my day Aditya."

Aditya felt a stab on his heart.

Shruti wanted to cut off as she couldn't see her guy feel miserable and she knew very well that she was equally responsible for the present condition. So, she needed time to get back to him with love.

Aditya said with a heavy heart, " Okay! Do as you wish. Talk to me whenever you want to. I'll be waiting. "

He meant what he said. That whole day nothing would have worked for him. His mind would have been totally pre-occupied with the events that had happened. He couldn't concentrate on anything. Unknowingly or knowingly he kept checking his cell phone to see if she did respond.

He convinced himself by saying that he was not disturbed and he was checking the phone only to see the time. This was not the truth. His heart forced him to do that.

He couldn't dare to message or call her before she did as it was against his ego and he did want to stick to his words.

Women on the other hand did just the opposite when it came to this situation.
If a girl had said that she wouldn't talk to him she would call him within half an hour after she had uttered those words.

The thought process in Shruti's mind had already started. she thought about the situation again and tried to justify both sides.

When a woman takes a step forward to be understanding she really does it in an unbiased manner.

Shruti thinks and she thinks and she keeps thinking until she has the courage to type this message and send it to him.

It goes like this:

" I am sorry. I've not been equally understanding I think. I shouldn't be so unreasonable with you but I just get hurt when you blame me for your unhappiness. It's not that I am scared and insecure but I only need is your love and the expression of love. I am not so great to understand what you think even after knowing you so well."

Message sent.

She expects a reply immediately thinking Aditya would be looking at his cell. Coincidentally , It is the time when Aditya stops noticing his cell. he gets busy and he doesn't realize that his cell was vibrating..

Shruti, on the other hand feels, he is not yet out of that miserable feeling and she feels helpless.

She sends another message:

" I love you a lot Aditya. All these trivial matters are not going to lessen my love for you."

Aditya had actually come out of that feeling after a while. Though he was worried about her response but there were other things to be prioritize.

Shruti couldn't get over that until he replied to her messages. She couldn't get over that and kept lazing and doing nothing but just thinking about all that he had said.

She was coming out of her deep well. His words had started doing the magic. Women show late response but it does work. She would see all the good things in what he had mentioned. She could see his little efforts to nurture the relationship and she realized a fact that it was important to let him be himself. It was the key to their happiness.

Dr. Louann says, "Let men be men."

If they are left in their territory they would love to cross their boundaries and reach the woman's land and keep her happy as they love to act brave and dare to do things. If those efforts are appreciated they feel triumphant.

Shruti sent another message, " Please , do not misunderstand my behaviour. I am trying to understand your point of view also. We both have to keep each other happy in our own way. I always want to be the reason for your happiness. Forgive me if you can."

After asking for forgiveness, Shruti felt a boulder down her heart. She had said what she wanted to.

Aditya suddenly realized that his cell light was blinking.

He eagerly read all the messages and smiles.

With each message his smile broadens and he feel relieved.

He felt that his words had finally affected her.

He reads the last message again.

He replies, " Of course. I do!! Love you too. I am little busy. Talk to you later dear. "

Shruti jumped on her bed to see his message. She had expected him to say something more but seeing the message her enthusiasm did go down but she wasn't sad. She did feel happy.

She expected him to reply, " I love you a lot and I can never be angry with you."

What Aditya had messaged meant the same as above but just that the words had been put in a different form.

Men can't play with words. Their words mean what they say.

For them, SORRY, is a very big word and if they don't get a response like, " It's okay! they feel that they have committed the biggest crimes on earth.

On the other hand, SORRY, is a very common word in a woman's dictionary. She uses it for the slightest of things going wrong. Even if she forgets to call him back she says sorry and to get a reply like, It's okay, is not enough for her.

Women need full assurance by words that their sorry had been accepted but what they do hear from men is just an , It's okay. From a man's point of view they mean what they say but the woman thinks that they are just trying to put this off.

Such a confusing mystery with two different kinds of brains.

This is called the Autumn in love. This is the time when both learn to nurture their love. They learn to understand and give time to realize what they feel.

It takes time but it does have effects.

To be continued.................

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Seasons of Love ( Part 1)

7:00 AM

The yellow light on the cell phone flickered.

1 message received

Aditya reads the message: Let’s just get over with everything!!

Aditya rubbed his eyes and opened them wide. He reads the message again. He wipes the mobile screen and checked the sender’s name again.

Yes, it was certainly Shruti who had messaged.

He checks the time when the message had been sent. It read: 3:00AM, which meant just 4 hours back.

He scratched his head and immediately hit the call button on the last dialed number. Before the call could be connected his fingers were forced to cut the call.

He became restless.

The thought process that goes on in his mind:

“What’s wrong with her? Was she drunk when she had messaged this? What did I do that made her say this? I don’t even remember the conversation we had last night. What to do?? She must be sleeping now. I can’t even disturb her as she slept so late. What on earth could have happened that made her write this? Have I not been caring enough??”

Aditya broke his head for a while pondering over on text message and then got irritated by this thought processing. He walked out of his room and stood in the balcony.

Guys never think so much on these little matters but when they do think, it just makes them so resentful and angry that they forget all the good things that have happened. They start feeling insecure, hurt and helpless. They can’t bear to hear the word of rejection from their partner once they’ve given their love.

Aditya started feeling the same and in the event of hiding his feelings of loosing his love, he gets angry with her thinking how could she have said something like that to him when everything was going well.

He couldn’t wait anymore and gave her a call. He didn’t know how to begin the conversation so chose not to speak first. He didn’t even greet her.

Shruti spoke in a loving yet sleepy voice: “Good morning love.”

Aditya took a gulp down his throat.

She continued saying, “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, I did,” he replied.

He couldn’t speak a word more than what was asked for. He was not able to get the strange behaviour.

He thought: (“How can she act so normal after messaging all that?”)

After a long pause, Aditya decided to break the silence.

He asked, “What was the message you sent last night? What did I do?”

Shruti (pretending that nothing had happened) said, “Nothing dear. I was not feeling good about things.”

Aditya replied, “What has happened? Will you say something clearly?”

Shruti (gaining her confidence and all set to strike back) says, “Yes, you are the reason for everything. Do you even realize how bad I feel at times when you say something in your bad mood? It’s been a week we’ve spoken to each other properly. I have my own problems and sometimes I get helpless when I am not able to talk to you. Even if you talk to me you don’t feel like asking anything and you have hardly anything to say these days. What am I supposed to interpret when I hear all this and do you even realize what you said last night??”

Aditya, (who had been listening to her patiently) spoke in an angry tone, “What?”

Shruti (very confidently) replies, “You told me that I am the reason for pissing you off always. I am the one who spoils your mood. If that is so, then why do you have to talk me? So, I thought its better you stay free and happy.”

Aditya was completely furious by then and he replied in an angry tone, “What was wrong in what I told you. I was absolutely right I think. You are indeed the person who can spoil my mood and my day too. I have my own tensions and worries too. Will you just let me be myself? All I want is a little mental peace. Can’t I demand that too?”

Shruti had been very strong with her reasons all this while broke down into pieces from within when she heard those lines. She hadn’t expected him to say that. She wanted to know the reason for his behaviour and also wanted him to justify himself if there was any reason. (Considering the actual picture, there was no specific reason at all.)When she was blamed again, she lost all the power to fight back. Her condition was like that of a kitten which was very hungry yet had to stay in one corner seeking for shelter on a cold rainy night.

She took a deep breath and gulped down the tears down her throat and said, “Ya, you are right. I am sorry for everything. That’s the reason I messaged you like that. From now I won’t be the one who spoils your day.”

She didn’t wait for him to speak but cut the call. After keeping the call down, Shruti threw her phone furiously on the bed, scratched her head and got up from her bed. She picked up her phone again and went to the ‘Sent items’ folder just to realize what she had said last night.

Thoughts in her mind: Do I really want to get over with this relationship? Do I have to loose his confidence at this ripe stage of our relationship?

She got angry with her own self and switched off her phone, closed her eyes and buried her face into the pillow.

Hot tears streamed down into the pillow and she wailed from within thinking about the events that had happened and also blaming herself equally. She had lost self confidence by then and she felt as if she was sitting in a ditch and found no means to come up.

Aditya also realized what he had just said and he felt helpless as only the last words she spoke lingered in his mind.

All those millions of ‘Love you’ she used to say was all washed off and was in the drain. He felt helpless and like a loser thinking that she had lost her confidence on him. He was angry not with Shruti but with the situation that he couldn’t do anything to make her feel good and happy again. He had lost miserably in this test. The fear of losing her made him even more furious and that anger came out on her.

He tried dialing her number after one hour and her cell was still switched off. He desperately wanted to tell her that he loved her so much but only because he couldn’t see her unhappy because of him, he was showing his anger on her. He could have somehow made her feel good. He cursed everything that came his way, slammed the door and went into his room.

This is such a typical situation faced by people in relationships but what mistakes people do here is to not understand each one’s need.

There’s wasn’t much that was happening between them. They were just going through what is called- Summer in love.

Aditya felt that just few days back he had expressed his love to her by telling her a lot of things and Shruti had felt so happy about it. The few days according to Aditya’s calculations were some 15 days back.

For women, reassurance of love is required. If a guy says ‘Love you’ to a girl she would expect the guy to tell her ‘love you’ as many times as he could so 15 days was like a forgotten old story which was just the opposite with guys.

Women need reassurance not because they are insecure or feel their guy doesn’t love them. They want guys to express their love always. They want that love tank to be full always. Whereas, for men expressing their love once meant a lot and they expect the opposite sex to remember that always.

Women are like waves. They go so high and then low. Sometimes they are in high spirits and sometimes they are in low. This happens very often. It can happen even within 5 minutes that’s when men say they can’t understand women.

They undergo a stage at this stage when they can be stabilized only by love and understanding. They need open ears and full attention from their partners. They don’t want solutions to their woes but they just want them to be heard. In Venus they had learnt to practice empathy. They solved others problems and leant to listen to each other but in Mars it was just the opposite. They would only come forward to help when asked for. They didn’t how to empathize until someone asked for it.

Women go deep down in their well feeling low about themselves for no reason at all. They feel helpless and low without any string reason. That’s when they need to be heard and men feel it’s not right. Men interpret that they lack self-confidence and try to advice them, which is the biggest mistake.

Shruti was feeling bad about certain things and because of Aditya’s behaviour she felt bad even more. When he blamed her again she felt even worse and lost her confidence even more.

Women can do anything when they feel loved and cared for. That’s their biggest strength and weakness. A little bit of honest appreciation from the opposite sex will make them feel much different.

Men on the other hand are like rubber bands. They’ll stretch and stretch just to move away and get aloof at times but then they’ll be forced to come back because they don’t want to test their tensile strength till the maximum limit. They always want to come back with extra force which if seen in the form of love. This is when they expect their partner to understand them.

Aditya would have felt the same. He would have wanted to pull away a bit from her not because of any fault of hers but it was the time when he needed to visit his den to take time for himself. He would have eventually come back to her with lot of love but before that Shruti reacted to his behaviour which hurt him.

Shruti wouldn’t have felt bad if he hadn’t blamed her. She couldn’t dare to be responsible for his unhappiness as she always wanted to the reason for his happiness. When she realized that she had made him upset she felt even more upset and weak.

Shruti would have expected Aditya to say something after reading the message that could make her feel better, “I need you. I love you. Please don’t go away. I will not be happy without you.”

These he would have felt within but what Shruti wanted was to listen to them verbally. In a moment of her sadness she would have lost all the strength to even think what he felt.

It was against Aditya’s manliness to talk about these feelings.

The amount of confidence she had initially arguing with him had vanished eventually as she saw lack of empathy. Shruti didn’t lack confidence but when she remembered the words he had spoken she felt shattered.

She switched on her phone.

There was a message from Aditya.

It read: Why don’t you have confidence in your own self? What can’t you be happy with this happening? Why are you so pessimistic about everything?

This time she felt worse again. The one who could have understood her in her worst situations happened to be the one who was advising her. She wanted to be understanding and act in a mature way but after all this the situation became worse…..

She was about to break down completely when he phone rang.

Her heart raced when she heart the ring tone.

It was Aditya.

To be continued………………….

(Rest of my post will be containing the other seasons. So keep reading..)

Monday, April 5, 2010

Seasons of love

After writing my post on ' What - A Girl- wants' I got encouraging reviews from my readers. Based on that I went a little ahead do a bit of research on the psychological study of the male and the female mind and found that it is indeed an interesting topic. I was also engrossed in few of the mails that I received based on Dr.Louann Brizendine's recent book " The Male Brain". She has already written a book named" The Female Brain" before, in which she has thrown light upon those delicate and harsh facts that men need to know about a woman's psychology. Dr..Louann Brizendine is a psychologist and because of her book every newspaper is having posts with something related to what is called, ' Love,sex and deceit.' Thanks to the recent hindi movie, ' Love, sex aur Dhokha' which has been helpful in kindling these thoughts in people.

Keeping these points in mind I have few things expressed in a simple language because there exist certain people who go by the number of pages present in a book or it's thickness. This is for those who don't like to sit with a book and read continuously. It's a combination of certain books that I have read and my own observation. People might disagree with a lot of things which I may write but it's just a platform where I am sharing my own thoughts and trying to drill in some facts that I have come across.

I would like to drive home the point based on short instances. the situation is completely fictitious and the characters too though these characters might have certain traits which might be similar to a lot of my readers.

The most common phrase used to describe when a person is in love is : " Love is in the air."

Truly speaking, love is always there in the air, it's just that we are not able to breathe in that love along with the air. That's when something, called seasons of love comes into pictures.

Love varies according to the way people take it.

There's something called the Spring in love- when there is immense happiness and everything seems to be beautiful around just as nature seems to be equally beautiful then.

Summer in love- When it's extremely hot and love goes through hardships. It's very difficult to maintain it. People struggle at this time and if things don't go well they loose hope and love fails miserable even after having a beautiful spring.

Autumn in love- This is a more mature phase when one has to just sit back and feel relaxed and secure in love. Good thoughts settle in and great understanding develops.

Winter in love- This is a time when love is practically dormant. It's cold and meek. It goes under hibernation. It requires some rest and aloofness.

Love is always there in all seasons but it's just the way it expresses itself that matters the most.

Not talking more on this I would like to give few instances which would help in explaining the seasons of love.